A New York Girl

A full face from the drugstore.

2010-05-11T21:42:00.002-04:00

Maybe it was my enforced cutting-back, maybe it was all that Cover Girl product in my face on ANTM, but lately I've been experimenting with drugstore makeup brands and have, for the most part, been satisfied. In a couple of cases, even impressed. Here's how I have been creating my (almost) full face with drugstore products, none of which cost more than $12.99.

Foundation: L'Oreal True Match Super-Blendable Makeup, SPF15

This foundation is sheer, light, and of course, blendable. It comes in a little bottle with a simple cap (no extravagant packaging), and is easy to apply with your finger.

Eyeliner: Maybelline Line Stiletto Ultimate Precision Liquid Eyeliner.

After years of racoon eyes from Clinique products, I experimented to see exactly what was running down my face. After trying this eyeliner, I blame the Clinique. This goes on easily, is removed relatively easily, applies well, and stays put all day. The Brownish Black color is good for day or night.

Lips: CoverGirl Outlast Lip Stain.

This stain really does stay put, and I found a delightful berry-red color. It lasts a super long time and doesn't really rub off. One caveat: if your lips are chapped or dry, this stain will fade unevenly. Also, you have to apply it exactly where you want it - this doesn't blend or smudge. So trace carefully!

As for everything else, in the spirit of using what I've got, I've been maintaining my Clinique mascara. I've also been LOVING, absolutely loving, benefit's Highbeam liquid highlighter. A little on the brows and tops of the cheekbones, and it wakes up your whole face and makes you look totally fresh. Use highlight with mascara and gloss, and you're basically done. For cheeks, I've been sticking with my benetint, which is only half empty a year after I bought it (or half full?).

So try some drugstore brands. Seems like they've gotten better since our high school days. And if anyone is even checking this blog anymore, thanks for reading! More to come, for sure!

Cheers,

Hayley

Back from hiatus.

2010-05-11T21:29:00.002-04:00

Over the past couple of months, there hasn't been any time for blogging. Let's just say the recession hit a bit close to home, and when you do what you gotta do... sometimes that means paying the bills and not having the time for much else.

Good news is I've gotten good news, and without going into detail, let's just say working seven days a week is no longer a necessity. So I'm excited to have free time again to go out with friends, visit the fam in CT and of course, get back to this little web log of mine.

Coming up next, a lesson learned in a few very frugal months: The best drugstore beauty products right now!

Cheers,

Hayley

Surviving NYE in NYC

2009-12-29T18:26:00.003-05:00

Every year I am amazed at the relentless crowds that travel from far and wide to stand in frigid cold behind steel barricades, surrounded by strangers and NYPD, wait several hours in boredom, and finally watch a ball the size of a sprinkle drop about 1/16th of an inch. Some of them even do this sober.

I have done the Times Square thing once, which is enough for anyone. I have spent several other New Year's Eves in this city, and have learned several valuable lessons. If you plan to ring in 2010 in New York City, I highly recommend you learn from my mistakes and heed the tips below.

Tips for Everyone:
1) Pregame. No matter where you're headed or where you're starting. It will make the rest of the night a lot more interesting and a little less chilly.
2) Get to your destination early. Peak arrival times at clubs on NYE is usually between 9-10pm, and this is when the Times Square crowd starts to really grow (more on this later). Get there early and get comfortable because...
3) Be prepared for travel hassles. Train, subway, car, taxi... they are all over-crowded and harder to come by. Don't expect to sit on a train of any sort on NYE, except maybe in Queens.

If you're going to a club/bar:
1) If you prepaid for a ticket (often the case), including so many hours of an open bar, definitely get there even earlier than you think you need to. For instance, if you bought a $100 ticket to a place that has open bar 7-11, get there at 7. Or even before. Sounds ridiculous, but the bar will be harder to access as each hour passes. Get your money's worth by arriving early. Another benefit - you might even score a table or a cluster of chairs to hold your stuff and/or give your feet a rest.
2) Dress up. This might be specified in the ticket, or could depend on the venue, but it's always better to look your best when headed out on the town. More on this later.
3) If you're feeling saucy, here's a trick to ensure your party gets drinks easily all night: chip in money to tip the bartender ($10 each is nice, $20 is even better), and tip him/her at the beginning of the night. Thank them for working and if you can, introduce your group. This transaction does two things: gives the bartender a recognizable group of faces, and incentive to feed those faces drinks before the thousand other faces in front of them. I also recommend you continue to tip about $1 per drink, just to keep the guy coming. Approach the same area of the bar and try to wait for your guy to keep some consistency. Hey, this town is competitive.
4) Unless invited, don't get up on the stage with the band. Security doesn't like that. I'm just sayin'.
5) If you see the place is getting crazy-crowded and you're waiting half an hour for drinks, do yourself a favor and double-fist each time you go to the bar. Fewer trips means more fun dancing and toasting with your friends.

If you have temporarily have Gone Mad and are venturing to Times Square:
1) Manage your expectations. This will almost definitely be underwhelming, no matter where you come from.
2) Dress warmly. I cannot emphasize this enough. You get cold very quickly while standing still for hours on end, and in that crowd, no one can tell if you look cute or not anyway.
3) Prepare for all your stuff to be examined by police. I have seen them confiscate alcohol and fireworks, so anything beyond that will definitely be taken.
4) Get there as early as you can stand it. People will be in the heart of Times Square at noon, I kid you not. My friends and I arrived at 8pm, and stood 13 blocks away from the ball. And squeezed our way that close.
5) Guard your purse, and don't keep anything valuable in your pockets. Pickpocketing is rare in NYC, except in Times Square on New Years Eve. Then it goes from rare to rampant.
6) Bring food. You will get antsy and hungry, and if you leave your barricaded area, you won't be let back in.
7) Oh yeah, they herd you into barricades guarded by NYPD, and no, you can't get back to the same spot if you leave.
8) Oh and also, even though they control the crowds within barricades, people will still push and stick their heads in front of you, as if that will improve their view at all.
9) You know what, just don't do it.

If you're going to a house party - anywhere!
1) Even if it wasn't requested, bring food and/or drink. All well-bred people know to never arrive to a party empty-handed. Booze is always welcome, as is food that doesn't hassle the host. Canapes, prosciutto-wrapped melon, cheese platters, homemade guacamole and chips and interesting candies or fudge are all great options and don't require use of the oven.
2) Have a designated driver and make it someone you trust. In fact, crashing at the party location is ideal, because even if your DD isn't drunk on the road, there will be others who are, and it's proven that New Years Eve is one of the most dangerous nights to drive anywhere.
3) Dress nicely. Maybe it's not the roof of the W hotel, but dignify the party with at least jeans and a cute top, or a dress with boots. Wearing sweatpants (and seeing people in them) does not make one feel festive.
4) Bring an ipod or some CDs to contribute tunes, and keep 'em coming. Also, a deck of cards or a board game are great if it's a small get-together and conversation runs dry.

Of course, your biggest priority on New Years Eve is to stay safe while having a phenomenal time. Please don't take any of my suggestions like getting to the bar early and buying yourself two drinks at a time to mean that you should binge-drink yourself stupid. Buying two drinks at once doesn't mean you have to drink them in half the time. Spread out the booze and squeeze in some water every so often. And no, the ice in your Ketel/rocks doesn't count. You should never drink to the point of losing control of your own actions. This is both unsafe and supremely annoying to your friends who now have to babysit you. Don't be That Sloppy Girl that ruins everyone's good time and gets kicked out of the bar!

Next up: what to wear out on NYE so the Waterford ball doesn't upstage you.

My Favorite Christmas Tree Photos

2009-12-20T13:46:00.003-05:00

My Fantasy Christmas List

2009-12-20T13:19:00.003-05:00

There are the wishlists we keep for ourselves, when the month ends before the money and we want to treat ourselves. There are the wishlists we give our families for birthdays and Christmas. Then, there are the wishlists we know will not be fulfilled, but we keep hoping and wishing anyway!

Dear Santa,
I have been very good this year. I have been punctual and passionate at work, paid my bills on time, acted with kindness towards strangers, provided support for my family and friends, lost 20lbs and repeatedly walked away from impulse purchases for stuff I do not need. This is what I want for Christmas.

A ban on sweatpants in public.
Health care reform that helps those who really need it.
Eyeliner and mascara that won't give me racoon eyes. Ever.
Phish Phood that is high in protein and fiber, and low in calories and fat.
A sophisticated man who will take me to the symphony, cook me dinner and take charge in the bedroom.
A quick and effective resolution in the Middle East that will allow us to bring all our soldiers home.
A NCAA Basketball Championship for my college team
Skiing in powder in Vermont.
More awesome music from Kings of Leon, Phoenix and Devendra Banhart
More Lady Gaga and less Taylor Swift.
The Boucheron Le Quatre ring. With the diamonds.

Love,
Hayley

PS: The chocolate-raspberry macaroons on the side table in the hall are for you.

Leave It in the '00s

2009-12-20T13:09:00.002-05:00

"Awkward"
"Obvi," "totes," "apps" and all other spoken abbreviations
Uggs
The ubiquitous North Face Denali jacket
Couples referred to with one name (Brangelina, Speidi)
Rampant consumerism
Texting as a substitute for actual conversation
Vampires. Enough already.
Egomaniac rudeness (I'm looking at you, Kanye West and Joe Wilson)
Mammoth road vehicles for stay-at-home moms and bored financiers
Fame without merit (Heidi and Spencer, Octomom, Balloon Boy, et al)
Overabundance of TV shows about weddings and enormous families
Coach purses. Again, enough already.
Sarah Palin

Not Much of an Excuse

2009-12-20T13:04:00.002-05:00

The past six weeks have been rather insane, as cliche as that sounds. I had an intense bout of the flu, then a few crazy-busy weeks at work and at play, and just when I was ready to get back into the blogging about two weeks ago, my brother-in-law had a stroke. At age 30. Needless to say it was a stressful time, compounded with the added chores and errands of the holiday season.

So while my apology for an unexplained month-plus leave of absence is probably both unnecessary and ineffective, all I can say is my free time has been replenished and my inspiration renewed, so I'm ready to get back in the swing of things.

Coming up: What I hope will stay in the '00s, what I want to continue past 2010, and the best way to entertain yourself in a snowstorm.

Style Inspiration: Audrina Patridge

2009-11-10T16:16:00.003-05:00

This is not the fever talking. Audrina Patridge (and perhaps her stylist) have great taste. This girl can do the rock look without being cheesy, but also cleans up very nicely. And of course, Audrina is obviously a beautiful girl. She has amazing eyes and hair, and a great smile. Reminiscent of a brunette Ali Larter, no? I covet her collarbone and eyeliner application, and while she sometimes can't forumlate whole sentences, I thank Audrina for being a seemingly good-hearted person on a show full of fame-whores. I also thank her for bringing Justin-Bobby into the picture, because for all his douchey behavior, he also provides the only quick wit on the show, and it's fun watching him leave people with only an "Omigod dude, like, seeeeriously?"

Quarantined

2009-11-09T20:38:00.002-05:00

That's right folks, this NY girl has caught the flu. I guess this is what happens when you shun constant bathing in antibacterial soap as the pasttime of paranoid mommies, and decide that waiting in line for a flu shot that might just give you the flu isn't worth it.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, but with the harsh headache, body aches, hacking cough, fever of 101, and congestion, it's pretty much a sure thing that I have the flu. Naturally my roommates don't want this passed along like my latest Chinatown pashmina, so I have been quarantined to my bedroom and the bathroom nearest. According to the CDC, I should be using a separate waste basket, laundry hamper, towels, dishes and Lysol spray. Yes, even my germ-fighting substance is at risk for carrying... germs.

So with strict orders to stay home for a few days from work, I'll have plenty of time to waste here. I usually like to refrain from talking about Christmas until we're closer to Thanksgiving, but this flu has pushed me over the edge, and given me lots of time for online browsing. So wash your hands, cover your mouth and be careful, kids. I'd rather be at work, for sure.

Style Inspiration: Diane Kruger

2009-11-02T19:59:00.003-05:00

Diane Kruger is truly a versatile lady. She's 33 years old, and looks fresher than some haggard starlets 10 years her junior. She is a German bombshell, in the most elegant form of the word. She can go edgy with thigh-high boots and and plaid, she can do the New Look in Giammbattista Valli, she can be ladylike on the red carpet and she can rock some blond beachy waves that make me want to attack my roots with peroxide. She has a fantastic figure, but it's not vulgar or gaunt; she's shapely and petite, and can carry off a baggy t-shirt dress as well as a bikini or cropped top.

Style Inspiration: Audrey Tautou

2009-10-30T20:39:00.004-04:00

Too chic for words.

This last picture proves that Miss Tautou has a sick body underneath those ladylike clothes. Just cause ya got it, don't mean you have to flaunt it.

Autumn Around the World

2009-10-25T18:15:00.002-04:00

Autumn is a beautiful season, and it looks a little different everywhere you go. Here are some images of my favorite places around the world during arguably my favorite season.

Middleton Place Plantation, Charleston, SC

Bennington, Vermont

University of Oxford, UK

Basilica Santa Maria Maggiore, Rome, Italy

Whistler, British Columbia, Canada

Provence, France

Chianti Region, Tuscany, Italy

Luxembourg Gardens, Paris, France

How do you say no?

2009-10-19T21:44:00.002-04:00

I'd like to get the opinion of some other girls on an issue that many mid-20s women face inevitably: being asked to be a part of a bridal party for a friend's wedding.

As a preface, I'd like to make it clear that I think weddings can be a hallucinogenic amount of fun, I believe in true love and I am happy to be generous when celebrating the milestones of my loved ones.

Now that that's out of the way... here is something that's been on my mind a lot. I have been asked by two friends to be a bridesmaid in their weddings. They are both in 2010. They are 2 weeks apart.

Aside from the obvious financial burden of dresses, shoes, accessories, hair, makeup, gifts and parties involved with being a bridesmaid (or worse, Maid of Honor), I had another small issue with this: to say that I see these two brides 5 times per calendar year would be a generous estimate. And they do not live abroad or even on the west coast; they are in New Jersey and Long Island, respectively. Admittedly, I haven't openly confronted either of them about how our once incredibly close friendships (in high school, parts of college) have diminished to friendship for longevity's sake, and why I only seem to see them around holidays.

Both girls have a few things in common: their wedding month, their lack of effort to maintain a solid friendship after my failed attempts, and their certainty that I would say yes. It's like it doesn't matter at all that I hardly see the girls. They knew I would say yes, thereby agreeing to spend exorbitant amounts of time and money on their special days.

Indeed, I said yes, and I'm not about to back out. But is it wrong to expect a little two-way street action when it comes to making plans and seeing each other? It's almost audacious that they asked so nonchalantly, as if just because we've been friends since 7th grade, that I would be all eager to put on an orange dress and drop change on showers, engagement parties, bachelorette parties...

Here is my question: Where were you before you got engaged?

You were watching your future fiance play softball on Sundays when I had called you to go shopping. You were cuddling with him on Saturday night when I invited you to see a show. You were "too busy" to go dancing, hit Boston for a weekend, or even watch some MNF.

But now... there is a ring. There is a date. And we must find girls who are willing to dress alike, drop a huge amount of money on this wedding and smile all the time, even though we blew them off repeatedly in the past.

But you can't say no. Saying no makes a statement, a much bigger statement than a small gift. Saying no is the official end of the friendship, in girl world. Forget the wedding invitation, forget ever seeing this girl again, you're done. Your choices are suck it up, shell out and put on a happy face, or cut ties with the girl forever. Nevermind what that would do to your mutual friendships.

And so I guess all I can do is hope that when the time comes for me, they will all eagerly do what I did for them, but even that is small comfort. I don't want a big wedding, or to be stressed out by table seating, species of lilly, or how to pay for a $5,000 dress. I will want the shower, the bachelorette party, the support and the celebration that my friends had, but I doubt I will ever be the self-absorbed bride, too involved with herself and her fiance to squeeze in a girls date once a month with my friends.

What do you say, girls? Can you ever say no? Have you ever wanted to?
Hayley

A Retail Diet

2009-10-11T21:31:00.002-04:00

Have you ever been in the mood to go shopping, then looked around your apartment and realized that there is absolutely nothing you need?

In the clothing department, I have at least 8 pairs of trousers, a handful of work-appropriate dresses, 4 pairs of jeans, a dozen pairs of shoes, and countless tops and sweaters, plus several jackets, blazers, and fancier dresses.

In accessories, a basket full of scarves, a drawer full of jewelry, a few belts and some headbands I never wear anymore.

In beauty, I have a Vera large cosmetic that I can barely find things in, a shelf of lotions and soaps in my bathroom, 3 sunscreens, 2 toothpastes and plenty of hair products.

Chez moi, the small apartment is furnished and decorated. And as we know, in a small space, keeping clutter at bay is key. My kitchen, closets, bathroom, and bedroom are all full.

I need nothing.

There is not a cream, lip gloss, ballet flat or even a bra that I could justify right now.

I feel like the guy in that online services commercial from a few years back, who finally hit the end of the web, and had seen every website in the world. He seemed shocked, bewildered, and a little bit sad. That's me.

And so... this is a good time to embark upon a retail diet. Just as Columbus Day and end-of-fall sales are raging, and we've already been inundated with holiday season regalia, it's a hard time to resist. But we have to cut back some time, and this will be good preparation for the shopping that will commence in about 6 weeks.

I have never been a financial whiz, and things like interest rates, annuities, finance charges and fine print put me immediately to sleep. But everyone has a responsibility to own their financial destiny, especially women. I have always sworn to never be dependent on a man, or anyone else, and if we want the big house, or the luxury car, or the sailboat, or even to just have a few nice dinners out a month, we need to make it happen for ourselves.

My situation, without giving too much detail, is that I have student loans to pay off, bills and rent to pay, and am trying to get my credit card balances (two of them) down to 0, and finally I am trying to save up a down payment for my own condo or co-op someday. Whew!

I'm no Suze Orman, but here are some savings techniques I'll be implementing over the next few months:

1) Throwing away coupons (except food). This may seem silly, but I receive almost a dozen coupons a week from various stores, in email and snail mail. I use coupons to justify purchases, and when I don't need to buy stuff, I don't need the coupons tempting me. So when I throw them away, I'm less likely to go shopping on principal, because I don't have a coupon. Exception: food/health coupons that I'll need, and anything that takes effect after January 1, 2010.

2) No shopping for clothes, shoes, accessories or makeup until January 1, 2010. This deadline is a bit arbitrary, but first, the sales after Christmas will be insane. Second, 2-3 months on an extreme retail diet is enough time to make a serious dent in debt and rack up savings.

3) Opening a 6-15 month CD with my new savings after January 1, 2010. When your money's locked away, you can't touch it. I'll set aside the necessary funds for bills and a little fun, then sock away what I save and resume the savings cycle.

And while we're on the topic, here is how I already save money in everyday ways:

Turn off lights when you leave, and unplug appliances you're not using, including your computer. This is good for the earth and cuts down your electric bill.
Bring lunch every day. You can seriously save $50-75/week doing this, especially in NYC. Plus it's usually healthier.
Shop early for others. If you see a fabulous gift for someone and it's on sale, nab it! Even if it's months in advance! Especially for the holidays... spread out the spending.
Don't buy packaged, processed foods. Stuff like crackers, cookies, cereal, ice cream, microwave meals, and frozen foods are not only unhealthy, but usually expensive. Using simple vegetables, starches, protein and fruits is actually cost-efficient, and healthier. I make an exception for occasional Special K and Carr's water crackers, but fresh, natural foods go a long way and are lower in sodium and fat, often.
If you want to donate but are low on cash, donate time instead. Volunteer at a pet shelter or the NYC Mission for the Homeless. It's free, and you get a bonus warm+fuzzy feeling too.
Hold on to your student ID after college and use it to pay reduced admission at museums, concerts, and more.

And finally, here are some things I won't compromise too much on:

Going out for drinks and dinner sometimes. As long as it's not always top-shelf, it's ok. And come on people, you have to have a life!
Ski trips. For a great day of exercise, stress relief and a hobby I've had for 20 years, the cost of a day trip is worth it.
Live music and performances. Food for the soul.
Enough heat. There's no price for avoiding pneumonia!

How do you share money? Will you be tightening the purse strings a bit this holiday season?

Release of Cerebral Clutter

2009-10-04T21:02:00.003-04:00

When I'm typing into a search engine, I go as fast as I can before the suggestion box pops up. I guess if I can type in "James Morrison" before Google helps me along with suggesting it, it makes me smarter than a computer. And an independent woman.
I always get a huge pang of guilt when I'm in a hurry, and I move to sidestep a slow elderly person on the sidewalk, then make eye contact with them, and remember that they were once young and spritely. That's when I remember my manners, smile, and give my sweetest "Pardon me, ma'am." If I get a hint of a smile, that's encouragement enough for me to shove past and be on my way..
Although I'm still a die-hard "What Not to Wear" fan, I am convinced that TLC's latest MO has been to expose the people existing in the world that we all wish we could forget. Jon and Kate are a hot mess who have probably scarred their kids for life; the Duggars just plain creep me out; the girls on "Say Yes to the Dress" are usually the most self-absorbed princesses I've ever seen; shows like "Tree Man" and "Mermaid Girl" turn these poor victims of disease and genetics into a glorified freak show; and now "My Monkey Baby"??? Seriously?
I shifted the majority of my sweaters into my closet today after a trip to my parents' house to swap season bags, and now with the same number of hangers on the rod, my closet is bursting at the seams. I have to lean on the clothes bear-hug style, then roll my hips around while sliding the door shut, just to make sure it doesn't fly off the track.
Everyone seems to be raving about the Keurig single cup coffee brewer, and I enjoy it at work when I can pick a flavor and I'm filling my travel mug while running around the office. But I would never get one for my home. There's something fast-foody and inorganic about it... if I were serving people coffee after dinner, I'd much prefer to pour from a pot that took 10 minutes to brew than to serve people one at a time, inquiring about flavor choices like a barista. Is that weird?
I didn't put in my window air-conditioning unit until after the 4th this summer, and probably used it less than 10 times. Now it's October and it's still in the window, and I know what's going to happen - I'm going to wait until frigid air starts leaking in the window, and I'm going to get frostbite and blow all the heat out the window taking that damn thing out.
After many attempts, I've realized that my shoulders are too broad and my booty too small for me to successfully wear a sweater dress. No matter which one I tried, I ended up looking like a gladiator with less seductive curves.
I wanted to bake some pumpkin muffins to take up to Westport with me today, and I returned from the store armed to go... until I realized that I bought canned pumpkin pie filling, not pure canned pumpkin. I figured if I skipped the sugar in the recipe, it should all even out. Well... I ended up with 24 round pumpkin bricks in little orange liners. Note to bakers of the world: pie filling does NOT rise.
I woke up this morning with my head resting on the crack between two pillows, my arms splayed out over both pillows, each foot practically hanging off the mattress and the comforter wedged in all around me. Heaven help my future husband, because clearly I do not enjoy sharing bed space.

Effortless Style

2009-09-28T18:30:00.003-04:00

I was running around the west side today, doing some mundane errands after work. I was toting around my usual big leather work bag, in addition to a Dean & DeLuca shopping bag, a bottle of wine and a venti wild sweet orange hot tea. Turning direction at a corner, I caught a view of myself in a bank window, and was surprised at what I saw.

Although I felt frenzied, tired and a bit weighed down, I looked good. My trench collar was flipped up by the wind, my studded flats peeked demurely out of my black slim trousers, my crystal earrings were swingy and bright, my hair was tousled and shiny, and the bright red summer scarf around my neck warmed up the color in my cheeks.

I glanced one more time, and realized it: I have achieved (mostly) effortless style.

Upon waking up this morning, I did the usual Chi/makeup routine and grabbed my black slim trousers, a pintucked blouse, 3/4 sleeve cardigan and flats. Instead of coordinating several pieces of jewelry, I put on a statement pair of earrings with my watch and headed out, without giving my "look" much thought at all. And yet, in a moment when I didn't even feel it, I realized I looked pretty darn good.

Some bits of what I'm going to write may come off as vain or arrogant, and if so, it's unintentional. My diet and exercise habits are evidence of my lack of complacency about my figure, and shopping is just as much about confidence for me as it is fun. But this moment today was a reflection upon my personal style, and an honest self-evaluation, something which is valuable to everyone, every so often.

"Effortless style" is a phrase tossed around a lot to describe fashion icons like Jackie O, Audrey Hepburn or Kate Moss. Countless magazine articles have been written on how to achieve effortless style, and women everywhere I look seem anxiously striving to appear as if they don't care, and didn't try, but look fabulous anyway. But based on the looks I see on the street, the articles I read, and the complaints of my female friends and relatives, effortless style is for many a lofty goal which, ironically, only comes with years of shopping, tailoring and studying.

But it doesn't have to be that way. No style is completely devoid of thought or effort, but obsession isn't required, either. Effortless style comes with the application of three basic ideas.

1) Awareness. We must all be aware of what works on us and what doesn't. This is the most time-consuming part, but a couple of days spent trying clothing on will yield several looks that are undeniably flattering or horrifying. For example, well-endowed women should eschew turtlenecks, short women should avoid capri pants, and skinny jeans only work on the skinny. Likewise, v-necks are universally flattering, as are straight, well-tailored trousers, blazers, wrap dresses, and high heels.

Awareness is best applied in the fitting room. Look critically at the clothes (NOT at your body) and be honest about the fit. You may need to go up or down a size, or tailor. You may also like how an item looks on others, but not you (turtlenecks, in my case). But only purchase items that enhance your strengths, like a beautiful collarbone, long legs, small waist or bubbly butt.

2) Confidence. After you've stocked your dresser and closet with clothes that fit and flatter you, confidence in your appearance should become much easier. Without subpar, ill-fitting garments taking up space and making you feel insecure, creating outfit combinations becomes fun and much, much easier. Be proud that you're one of the few who takes time to dress well, and who gives her body what it deserves. Remind yourself that no matter what your size or income, you deserve to look great.

Confidence is valuable in all parts of our lives, but it comes and goes for most of us. You won't feel like a million bucks every day; we all have those bloated, puffy, pimply, wrinkly, frizzy or achy days that make us feel like no matter what we put on, we'll look terrible. My advice is this: on those days, don the prettiest outfit that is clean and appropriate. A dress is super-easy and remarkably comfortable, especially with flats or low boots, and people will be so impressed with your outfit that your seemingly coarse hair, or dark under-eye circles or expanded waistline will disappear from their eyes and your thoughts. It will make you feel better. Promise.

3) Common sense. Yes, common sense is not very common. But if you're questioning an outfit you put together, and you're not sure if it works, ask yourself these questions:
- Do the pieces fit?
- Is a bright print or color balanced with a neutral?
- Is the formality appropriate for where you're headed?
- Are you wearing too much jewelry or accessories?

Generally, if your answers are yes-yes-yes-no, the outfit works. I enjoy the appearance and flexibility of neutrals, and you will too, especially if color-matching is challenging for you. And you can always dress up a simple tee with a big necklace or scarf, but a top with a print or lots of texture is best left unadorned.

It should be fairly obvious that looking good isn't especially easy for anyone. I know of 100-lb girls who still need to get all their pants hemmed; my size-2, 34DD friend cannot find an untailored Oxford that fits; some girls with model stature feel insecure wearing heels. So don't be discouraged that mass-manufactured clothing designed with a set code of measurements doesn't always fit you perfectly. That hardly ever happens.

If you hit a wall and can't decide on looks to try, or pieces to buy, there are many sources of inspiration, including magazines, blogs and newspapers, especially the Sunday Style section of the Times. Also, try thinking of one of your favorite outfits of all time. Why did you love it? Why did it make you feel good? Try recreating that fabulousness with current pieces.

And finally, as you build a functional closet that makes your mornings smoother and your style easier, keep a laid-back state of mind. It is, after all, just clothing. Leighton Meester said the best style advice she ever got was, "Wear whatever the hell you want." We all have misfires sometimes (including her), and it's not the end of the world. Consider fashion misteps lessons learned, and remember that most people are too wrapped up in themselves to spend too much time scutinizing you.

When was the last time you felt effortlessly stylish?

How to Transition to Fall

2009-09-27T15:51:00.002-04:00

Weather in New York was diverse this week... we went from 83 and muggy to, well, cold and rainy right now. And we're expecting mid-70s and low 60s next week. We're definitely out of summer, but not solidly into autumn, with those random warm days and humidity.

What's a well-dressed girl to do...

On this rainy Sunday, I am presently autumn-izing my closet. Or, more accurately, this blogging is a break from the process. This is a step away from winterizing the closet, and makes the seasonal transitions much easier. It seems many women are annoyed at and confused by transitional dressing. This I am told by friends and family, and witness on the street. During a nice afternoon in Little Italy yesterday, I saw North Face shells, a handful of linen pieces, many flipflops, Uggs, Wellies, Bonanno sandals, scarves and quilted jackets. It seems this is a common conundrum.

Do you remember in high school geometry (or perhaps calc) when you had a graph of a zig-zagged line, and to answer a proof you had to draw the "best fit line?" Yes, I am a nerd. If you're not, well, here's something to jog your memory.

The line doesn't hit all points; rather, it goes through the middle as a sort of average. This is how we should approach autumnal dressing. On one side of the line is all the summer wear we haven't stored yet, and on the other side are the chunky sweaters and tweed trousers that have been on display since August. So you take the best fit line of those extremes. Those extremes are obviously seasonal cuts, colors and fabrics:
- eyelet
- linen
- heavy wool trousers
- anything ski-related
- straw or wicker (bags, shoes)
- tropical florals

The good news is that your best fit line can still cross into bright solids, thin cotton, lightweight cashmere, and loads of other options. This is possible through layering and thoughtful combinations.

Here are some ways to autumn-ize your summer clothes:
- slip that polo under a sweater or vest; pair with a chino or denim skirt and flats
- put your non-tropical sundress under a boyfriend cardigan or blazer, and add boots
- 3/4 sleeve jersey dresses always work!
- pair bright, airy tops with neutral, heavier bottoms. Yellow pops with gray, and brown is a warm complement to pink, turquoise and orange.
- twill and chino pants are ideal; more season-neutral than linen or wool.
- this is the season for lightweight scarves. Try them in darker colors to tone down a bright shirt.
- button-downs layer with tees, blazers, cardigans, vests, tanks... pretty much anything.

Here are some of my favorite transitional autumn looks. All images are from The Sartorialist, the best source for fashion inspiration on the web.

On the left, black stovepipe pants, a black leather bag and a sweater layer perfectly with an oxford and t-strap pee-tie platform sandals.

A pleated, lightweight blue skirt is matched with a heavier, draped top, and season-neutral metallic heels and a bright red clutch.

All-black is an easy palette: pair a heavy jacket with a short skirt and open-toe heels. Classic quilted bag optional.

And my favorite... this is brilliant. A standard v-neck sweater and casual navy mini, transformed by beautiful color, a statement necklace in neutrals with texture, and fabulous multi-hued brown peep-toe platform sandals. This girl looks gorgeous!

Anyone else watching this clusterf*ck?

2009-09-13T21:29:00.002-04:00

Beyonce's bodyguards bumping into the cameraman, interviewers stammering and "uh, okay"-ing their way through interviews, Madonna showing a lack of patience for applause during her tribute to Michael Jackson, voice-overs interfering with performances and Kanye hijacking Taylor Swift's acceptance speech to inform everyone that Beyonce had one of "da best videos of all TIME!"

And it's only 9:32.

Gotta love the VMAs... Heavens knows dozens of people probably spent all year preparing for this show, and it still reeks of immaturity and self-absorbed chaos at times.

But Russel Brand is hosting, and Lady Gaga is wearing an ostrich around her neck, so things might be looking up!

Edit #1: Maybe not... the presenters can't seem to read the teleprompter without awkward silences or overlapping each other, and Beyonce held the mic out to a woman to give a simple "wuh-oh-oh," and we got "waa-owwwww!"

But Green Day and Gaga rocked, of course.

"For the first time in a long time, you need a blanket on your bed."

2009-09-11T15:59:00.003-04:00

New York is rainy, windy and hovering around the slightly uncomfortable temperature of 60.

I'm sitting at my desk, watching the rain dart past my window and listening to the occasional cab tear through puddles in the street.

I'm drinking some hazelnut Dunks and wearing sweatpants.

... this is fabulous.

As much as I adore summer's breezy linen, days spent sailing, sand getting everywhere, Coronas and margs and everything becoming 50% more casual... I cherish the arrival of autumn. The structure of trousers and the return of schedules and the fun in adding outerwear to clothing combinations are all things I look forward to when the temperatures begin to drop. Also on this list are pumpkin bread, wool, loafers and diving into a warm bed piled with down pillows and comforters.

I refuse to begin buying autumn clothes in July, when they're typically debuted, because I'm not the world's biggest delayed gratification fan, and I'm also still busy enjoying my summer. But after Labor Day, I'm all about embracing transitional items and giving my look slight tweaks.

Here are some things I'm loving right now...

Tan trench
I got mine from Gap, and for the price ($88) it's a great buy. I ordered online so it was a bit wrinkled when it arrived, but it's a great classic trench for a good price. The material keeps you dry, the buttons are a nice dark brown, the length and shape are good, and it has some thoughtful details, like a button closure for the belt in back, so it doesn't slide out of the loops or move around too much. Looks great on the way to work, and even better with jeans and flats.

Patterned scarves
I love summerweight scarves... but I usually get too warm to wear them for long. So I love to wear them through the fall with tees, cardigans, and simple cotton dresses.

Vineyard Vines Tisbury Tote
I hemmed and hawed over this one. As a Connecticut girl I've been buying Vineyard Vines since they started up around 10 years ago, but my style has been evolving; so I wondered if it was a bit too preppy. Irregardless, this tote is great. It's on the big size for a tote, but when you bring lunch and gym clothes and sneakers with you to work, it's a perfect size. It's comfortable, and looks great with the trench. But come November, this will be retired until March or April.

Extra-long Pearls
Another purchase I debated over. I didn't want to look like a Gossip Girl extra or Material Girl, but I love long necklaces and statement jewelry. I figured out a few creative ways to wear them, and came across a superlong strand on sale for $13 at the Macy's in Herald Square. No-brainer. The look I get most compliments on is wrapping the necklace around my neck and through itself (like knotting a scarf).

Benetint
I'm gradually getting away from bronzer, which can look unnatural after September, and getting back to my Benetint. This stuff looks so natural on almost everyone, and you can use as much or as little as you need. It's pricey at around $30, but it lasts a long time.

Twill trousers
They're as comfortable as jeans, washable, and professional. My favorite is my gray pair.

Lipstick, Clinique's "A Different Grape"
I've been a lip gloss girl for as long as I can remember, and used to only dabble in lipstick for special events. But I got this color with a free gift months ago, and opened it up recently when I was feeling black. On me, it was a beautiful rich purply-pink, and was a great pop of color on my face. I'm hooked!

And some current wish-list items...

Italian driving mocs
I saw these all over Italy, mostly with metal details and nubby black rubber grips on the soles. They look a bit androgynous, casual and chic, which I love. Mostly they would go great with jeans, but I did see some women pulling these off with skirts. I haven't purchased yet because I simply cannot decide on a color.

Boyfriend cardigan
I thought these looked sloppy when they first came out a few years ago, but now I've seen some in slimmer fits and shorter sleeves. Plus, a belt works wonders. I'd like to get one to wear with a tee and full skirt at work.

T-strap flats
I have a handful of pairs of flats, but I would like some T-strap ones, perhaps in gray. Initially they look like plain old ballet flats, but get a peek at the top and there is an added element of style.

Hunter Wellies
I adore Hunter boots, especially the black ones Kate Moss wore all over England. I think they look so autumn and classic and British... but they're a bit too expensive for me until I can figure out how often I'll wear them. They're great for rainy commutes, but then I have to deal with bringing different shoes to work and either tucking trousers and wrinkling them, or wearing big rubber boots with a sleek wrap dress. And on weekends, I generally love my loafers and heels. I'm on the fence.

What will you be buying this fall?
- H

Concert Review: The Killers

2009-09-03T22:44:00.008-04:00

The Killers with Wolfmother
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Jones Beach Amphitheater
Wantagh, New York

Tuesday night, a friend and I took a mini-adventure out onto Long Island to see what might be my real favorite band right now, The Killers. This was a sold-out show, and we scrounged a few tickets up the day of the show on stubhub.

First, the venue: I had heard good things about concerts at Jones Beach, which is a state park about 45min outside NYC by train. But I think I may have found my new favorite concert venue. First, the parking lot tailgates are shamelessly un-patrolled, and it made me wish we had driven so we could drag out the cooler and join in the fun. Secondly, there isn't a bad seat in the house. The house only houses around 14,000 people, so while you might get high up, you never feel terribly far away from the action. The seating is built in a wedge shape; the stage faces north and the audience faces south, giving the concertgoers a view of the water behind the stage, and if you're lucky, a beautiful sunset to the right of the stage. It's perfect for summer.

Anyway - on to the music. The Killers rocked this place. I've never seen a band exude so much energy without moving very much themselves; the musicians didn't have to run and jump around the stage to get the audience going. These boys from Vegas also know how to put on a show. Just because they were on the beach didn't mean they were going to forsake confetti, showers of sparks, or pyrotechnics on stage. They didn't really need the effects, but when you take a fast-paced chorus, thumping drums, driving piano chords and a melody you want to sing along with, and THEN add sparks raining down on the stage for the remainder of the song... yeah, that's a little bit of magic.

I was really happy with the playlist the band chose. I wish I noted it, and haven't been able to find it online, but it included just about every radio-worthy hit, plus a power ballad or two, and a few tunes from their latest CD, Day and Age. Some of my favorites that they played are....

Can You Read My Mind?
Human
Mr. Brightside
Losing Touch
Jenny
Smile Like You Mean It
Somebody Told Me
All These Things I've Done
Bones
When You Were Young (encore)

The Killers also have a great sense of rhythm. Not the kind of rhythm you play, but rhythm for the concert. A playlist can get boring quickly if there isn't the right kind of variety and rhythm. They opened with an energetic song (Human), cranked along for a bit to get the crowd going, then we had bopped around enough, they threw in an unexpected acoustic treatment of Smile Like You Mean It, with violin and piano (not synth). They built us back up again with All These Things I've Done (get that audience fist-pumping... "I got soul but I'm not a soldier..."), and closed with an "of course!" encore of When You Were Young, letting the opening dischord ring for a bit, and then setting the crowd loose with its infectious beat and sweeping chorus.

Here's a video of their performance of Mr. Brightside, and you can hear everyone singing along...

Another thing that struck me about this show was the vibe. The audience was one of the most diverse I've seen: college kids, high school kids, wannabe rapper kids, parents with children, baby-boomers, yuppies, overgrown frat boys and everyone in between. This diversity led to a pretty positive vibe, an unexpected cohesion. What brought everyone together was their cheerful devotion to a band that tells stories with lyrics, stories that resonate with people of many ages apparently.

The Killers sing songs of heartbreak, nostalgia, theoretical possibilities, interpersonal pressure and rhetorical questions. They love a running bass beat, sweeping synthesizer chords, and beautiful guitar/vocal counterpoint. Their music had a family of five jumping, nodding and dancing together, wearing smiles and not concerning themselves with what anyone else thought. It was a really special concert, executed nearly flawlessly, in tune and with contagious energy. This concert made me love the Killers even more.

Here is their encore, When You Were Young...

And as a side note, this may sound crazy, but I would love to hear a Killers Unplugged concert. Their songs could be so beautiful with synthesizer reworked to strings, piano, acoustic guitar, maybe even cello... I'll call MTV right now.

- Hayley

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie...

2009-09-01T17:26:00.007-04:00

Italy.

Everyone talks about the beauty, the food, the art, the vibe, the people... but you cannot capture this country in a story, or a photograph, or even a video. You must be there, you must be surrounded by it, you must immerse yourself in the balmy breeze, warmed with chianti, buzzing with laughter and agape at the thousands of years of history which surround you.

In twelve days that felt like a happy eternity, but went by oh so quickly, I danced til dawn in Milan, drank wine on a gondola in Venice, dove off a sailboat into the waters of Capri, ate pizza with prosciutto in Sorrento, gazed at the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel until my neck was sore, threw three coins into the Fontana di Trevi in Rome, and sunned myself on the rocky shores of the Cinque Terre. It was a dream come true.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but the photos below still don't do Italy justice. I took 904 photographs while actively practicing restraint... that's how much I saw and how beautiful this country is. But if you haven't been, please go the first chance you get. I am completely enamoured with Italia and am already thinking about when I will go back.

Basilica San Marco, Venezia

Even the polizia are cute.

View from the roof of Castel Sant'Angelo, Roma

Sunset behind Basilica San Pietro, Roma

Gondoliers... sexy.

View from our gondola, leaving the Canal Grande.

Italian men, always posing, always aiming to please.

View from our boat, crusing Lago di Garda.

Duomo, Milano... Over 3,000 statues in/on one church.

The houses of Portovenere.

Pisa... just slightly underrated.

Ponte Vecchio, Firenze... the jewelry shops on the bridge? I die.

Santa Croce, Firenze... three colors of marble for faith, hope and charity.

Il Palagio - castle and vineyard, Chanti region, Tuscany.

Sunset behind Sorrento.

Cute boys on Vespas, Sorrento.

Sorrento from up top... paradiso.

A temple in Pompeii.

Sunset over Palatine Hill, Roma.

I'm back.

2009-08-28T18:39:00.002-04:00

But I wish I weren't.

I had the time of my life and two safe flights, and got about 3 hours of sleep a night, so I'm exhausted. In a good way. Pictures to come soon.

Hayley

66 hours.

2009-08-13T01:21:00.002-04:00

About 12 errands, 2 days of work, and 1 suitcase to pack, and exactly 66 hours from now (presuming there aren't delays... help me out, Gods of Air Travel!), I will be taking off to leave for Italy.

Decided against the straightener, will take advantage of hotel hair dryers as they come. I'm not fussy about wavy hair.

Have amassed at least a baker's dozen of breezy, pretty summer tops. Hoping (in vain) that Italia won't be as hot as I expect.

Scheduled pedicure; fingernails will have clear polish. No time for that nonsense!

Have measured suitcase dimensions... time for a trial pack to make sure we're not over the tour weight limit. Because, obviously, a few bottles of wine and other goodies will be coming back to the States with me.

So much to dooooooooo!
- H

Loved this one too!

2009-08-09T15:34:00.003-04:00

I saw yet another great movie last night - Julie & Julia. Love love LOVED it!

The premise of the movie is pretty simple, but it gave a surprising amount of insight into the life of Julia Child: her previous employment, her loving husband, their world travels, and her comical but aggressive performance at Le Cordon Bleu. The scenes in Paris are simply delightful. It's unoccupied Paris after the fall of the Nazis, with its old cars, flowers in windows, outdoor markets, wine, cigarettes and lilting accordion music.

There are a few great performances by the actors in this movie. I won't say Amy Adams was one of them. But this is not really her fault. After watching the scenes rotate between romantic 1950s Paris with a culinary legend, and cynical post-9/11 Queens with a frustrated, impotent secretary who doesn't have much personality, you just yearn for more Julia, more Paris, more giggling and whisking. In Amy Adams' defense, though, that was the character of Julie. By definition she was kind of lost and had no real calling or talent, and when the movie tries to parallel the two women, as the story calls for, you might find yourself just impatiently sitting through the scenes, waiting for the next time Meryl graces the silver screen.

And, really, we all know Meryl Streep can do drama. She is a living legend. But who knew she could be so devastatingly funny? Meryl is more Julia Child than the real Julia, if that's possible. The way she walks, holds a basket in the crook of an elbow, gesticulates with a knife, kisses her husband, shuffles down the street... she becomes another person.

And that voice! Probably just second behind her food, Julia Child's voice was truly famous. She had an oddly high-pitched, yet resounding, rounded voice that sounded vaguely British, yet American, and drew out vowels and had an infectious laugh. And Meryl did it. She did it in a more lively, laughable way than I could have imagined.

There is also a lot of unexpected tenderness between Julia and her husband Paul, played by Stanley Tucci, who is also wonderful. Stanley showed how much Paul loved his goofy, talented, freakishly tall wife, and their many scenes together are magical, even more so than in The Devil Wears Prada.

Another film I highly recommend, this one will not only make you feel great, but also wish for a doting husband (if you don't have one), and make you want to Master the Art of French Cooking.

And eat.

Hayley

Loved it!

2009-08-05T23:47:00.003-04:00

I just came back from seeing (500) Days of Summer, and I am already planning to go again.

The cast is small, but excellent. The male lead, Tom, you might remember from the similarly romantic and unlucky-in-love Cameron from 10 Things I Hate About You (which I watched last night!). The female lead, Summer, is the uniquely pretty Zooey Deschanel. There is also a minor character played buy the guy in Sex & the City who lies to Miranda about being a doctor, while she is lying about being a stewardess.

Anyway...! I won't give away too much about the story, but the good things are:

It's not overly sappy.
It's actually quite funny.
It's quirky, but not in a trying-too-hard kind of way.
The ending is unexpected but sentimental.

Plus, Miss Deschanel's wardrobe and hair are divine, and Tom has a baby face full of optimism, even when he's down. Go see it!

Hats Off to Saratoga

2009-08-03T19:24:00.009-04:00

In Saratoga this weekend, I won money, lost money, spent money, did a lot of drinking, and had a great time. I also took lots of pictures of the wacky and gorgeous hats I saw at the Saratoga Hat Contest. I didn't catch who the winner was, but capturing all the chapeaus on film was enough for me. Here are some highlights:

And finally, my favorite of the entire day. Big, frilly, stylish, black-and-white and paired with a beautifully simple outfit:

How to Make a Derby Hat

2009-07-30T02:55:00.005-04:00

I have professed my love for big hats worn at horse races. I have also discussed how to pick a hat for your face and how to wear that hat properly, with a dress and minimal, classic accessories. In this post, I'll show you how I made my own Derby Hat.

Google "derby hat" and dozens of online couture hat boutiques will come up. The Derby Hat is not only a long-standing tradition, but also brings good luck to you when you wear it, and some people take this tradition very seriously. So if you're lucky enough to be attending the Kentucky Derby, your outfit is of paramount importance. There are, apparently, women out there who will spend upwards of $400 on a gargantuan hat festooned with feathers, netting, ribbon and flowers, which she will wear to only one race, on one day, ever.

I am not one of those women.

I am also not going to Churchill Downs this weekend, but I am attending the Hats Off to Saratoga Festival in lovely Saratoga Springs, New York. I have two navy-ish dresses that I plan to wear to the track Saturday and Sunday, and I have created my own custom hat for the weekend. Yes, I do realize this is probably a huge faux pas, wearing the same Derby Hat twice in one weekend (or in one lifetime), but... I don't really care.

So! Time to make your hat. Before a chef begins cooking, he gets mise en place. Before embarking on any project, it's good to lay out your materials ahead of time. For this project I suggest:
- the hat
- silk flowers (several small and one large)
- feathers (many)
- ribbon
- netting (optional)
- thread and needles
- Tacky Glue or a hot glue gun

Here are my materials laid out on the kitchen table.

Then I took everything to where I do all my crafty-work: my bed (weird, I know).

1) Start with the feathers. I attached mine so they would lay across the crown and fan out. Pour some glue over the spot, lay down 2 feathers and sew them onto the hat. As you get comfortable with this process and feel they are secure, add more.

2) When you are satisfied with your plumage, it's time to add the band, if you don't have one or want to change yours. Cut a long piece of ribbon, wrap it around the crown, and bring the ends together where the feather bunch is. Secure with pins, then sew the ribbon in place with small stitches. Cut off any excess.

3) Now we add the side flowers. You will need to cut or detach smaller stems from the large flowers. Place the bunch where you like, then sew it in place by looping thread over and through the branches.

4) Once you have the framing set, you add the focal piece: the large silk flower. My hat has a magnolia-ish flower. Pick something with size and volume! Using matching or inconspicuous thread, sew the blossom onto the hat where the brim meets the crown. Be careful not to sew through any top petals (you'll see the stitches).

Here is how the hat looks now...

5) Now the hat is basically done - you just need finishing touches. This is the point where I added the extra ribbon, pushed in the rest of the feathers, and made small adjustments. You can add more flowers, netting, whatever you like, but it will be harder to sew anything into the crown once the large flower is sewed.

5) Last thing I added: the single ostrich feather. I thought it added a great pop and a change from just navy/white.

And there you have it... a custom-made Derby hat to match whichever lovely sundress you want. My plain hat cost $17, and the decorations all together were about $18, which makes this project a very affordable one. I'm already laughing and excited about the pictures we will take this weekend. And maybe I'll win big!

Here are some tips for making your hat look great:

Find a place to consider your focal point - where the attention to the hat will be drawn. The statement will be more sophisticated than silk flowers sticking out of every corner of your hat.
Sewing through glue will get your hands, needle and thread messy. Consider yourself warned. But the sturdiness is worth it.
Attach decorations without pulling them through the holes in the straw, if applicable. That'll poke you in the head!
Have fun with color, but shopping for things like feathers and flowers can give you ADD. Create a palette (3 colors tops) and stick with it, if you want to look sophisticated.
Consider your dress. If your dress is on the fancy side, go for a hat in a fabric, rather than straw, and keep a clean color palette.
Hats come in many shapes and sizes. Take the time to pick the best one for you.
Finish off the look with nice, big sunnies.
Have fun and work that Derby Hat! If you're feeling a bit shy, first, take a look around you, and second, have another drink. You're at the races - enjoy!

Cheers,
Hayley

Crazy Inspiration: Lady Gaga

2009-07-29T01:27:00.003-04:00

My absolute favorite music for the gym and a woman who always dresses to impress: Lady Gaga is on another planet, and I love her for it. I love how she used to be a stripper but is actually very talented on vocals, piano and producing/mixing. This girl has chops, and her outfits are always memorable and insane, whether in performance, on the red carpet, or just in life. She never disappoints. She never wears pants either, but really, who actually likes having to wear pants?

Overripe Fruits and Veggies?

2009-07-27T23:16:00.003-04:00

Just moments ago, I got back from a nice 5-mile jog. My apartment is hot, even with the box fan in the window, and I really wanted something nice and cold. I opened my fridge looking for my big tupperware container of chopped watermelon. Before I opened the door, I could feel the icy, watery flesh of the melon on my teeth, and I looked forward to feeling cooled-off and quenched after having a cup or two of my favorite summer fruit.

But what happens to fresh, ripe produce in the fridge when you've had a busy weekend and have hardly been home to eat? Yeah, that watermelon was soft and swimming in water. It wasn't rotten, not at all. It just was far from the crisp, crunchy fruit it had been when I cut it up last week.

But instead of throwing it away, I spooned about a cup of the chunks into the blender, added a cup of seltzer, and hit "puree." Right now, I'm sipping on the most refreshing drink I've made in a while. And adding vodka, champagne or Malibu would definitely improve it.

The point here is that some produce can be salvaged when you've taken too long to eat it, like I frequently do. I'm not saying anyone should be eating a moldy pear, but even if the item isn't tasty on its own, getting creative with it can lead to some great meal/snack ideas. Here are some uses I've found for overripe fruits and vegetables:

Bruised apples: Slice what's left of good apple, and eat it with some peanut or almond butter; cut it into slivers and put it in a salad; slice it and add it to a wrap with turkey, lettuce and gorgonzola; sprinkle the slices with cinnamon and sugar, and microwave them - it'll taste like pie filling.

Brown, spotty bananas: The more overripe the banana, the better the bread. Find a recipe online and enjoy for breakfast! You could also put the banana in the blender with some strawberries and skim milk for a smoothie; stir it into nonfat Greek yogurt (I like Chobani) with a little splenda; make a PB&Banana sandwich, and let it take you back to 3rd grade.

Overripe tomatos: Aside from making tomato sauce, you can make a delicious bruschetta: cut the tomato in halves or quarters, and squeeze or scoop out the pulp. Dice the tomatos nice and small, then stir with garlic and basil to taste. Set out the bowl of bruschetta with toasted bread, pitas or bagel flats and enjoy with some pino grigio.

Overripe cantaloupe: Slice it and wrap it in prosciutto. Everything tastes great when wrapped in cured meat, plus the sweet/salty combination makes a great appetizer.

Bruised/Overripe pears: Try using some of the apple techniques, or prepare this amazing Parisian dessert I made for Christmas, poached pears in red wine sauce: Peel and core the pears, leaving the stems on, and cut a bit off the bottom so the pear stands on its own. Poach the pears in 1 bottle of beaujolais over medium heat, and add a couple of tablespoons of brandy or cognac to the mix. Turn the pears so they absorb the wine and turn red, and add 1/2c sugar. Once the pears are bright red and poached (about 10min), remove from the pot and place standing on the serving plate. Reduce the wine into a syrupy sauce (up to 5min), and pour over the pears. Serve warm. You can also slice the pears and pour the sauce over the slices. Amazing!

Figs past their prime: Mix a few spoonfuls of gorgonzola cheese with 1/2tsp cinnamon. Slice the figs lengthwise and stuff the halves with the cheese mixture. Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes and prepare to be amazed.

Overripe pineapple: Chop the good fruit, and put it in the blender with orange juice, then freeze the mixture in an ice tray or popsicle molds. Or, take that mixture and blend with champagne or rum for a great summer cocktail.

Overripe broccoli: chop into florets and saute with olive oil and diced garlic; or throw it in a casserole dish with a whole lot of cheese and butter, and make Paula Deen's Broccoli Cheese Casserole! Delicious and deadly.

Softened onions: Cut the onion in half and slice thinly. Caramelize in a pan by cooking the onions in a pan over medium-low heat with a tablespoon of sugar and a bit of water. Serve the caramelized onions over brie warmed in the oven and French bread or crackers.

Some produce, like carrots, lettuce and cucumbers, are much harder to salvage past a certain point. But before you chuck it, think and get creative in the kitchen. Remember:
- sweet goes well with salty
- the blender can save almost anything
- the produce needs another flavor to make up for freshness

Goodnight!
Hayley

How to Wear a Big Hat

2009-07-22T01:36:00.003-04:00

Admittedly, a huge hat isn't as easy of a piece to wear as a cute clutch, or even a statement necklace. The big hat is its own statement, and it's important, when diving into this delightful adventure of feathery, flowery goodness, to achieve coordination and balance in your ensemble.

The Steps to Picking the Right Hat
1) Pick your dress. A gal can get away with a skirt/top combination, or nice linen pants, but a sundress works with a hat even better than bourbon and muddled mint leaves.
2) Pick your shoes. At the track I recommend flops, or wedges if you're feeling posh, but stilettos will sink into the grass and cramp your fun. But the point here is, if your shoes make a statement, tone down the hat.
3) Pick the right hat for your face shape (see below).
4) Pick embellishments for the hat that either pop the outfit or coordinate with it.

Race hats come in many shapes and sizes, so aside from being outrageous and fun, they must also flatter your face. Below is a guideline for picking a hat style that complements your face shape, courtesy of www.hat-a-tude.com.

If your face is round or square, you'll want to go for a straight brim, large brim, fedora or low crown hat. Avoid deep rolled short brims, and hats too small for your head.
If your face is narrow, you can pull off the flat crown, the gambler, the low crown, or the flat, wide brim - just about anything, except high crown hats. You'll look too long.
If your face is oval-shaped, dive right in - you can pull off any of these looks.

Hat-a-Tude also recommends that no hat should be wider than your shoulders, and to keep the proportions of the hat in check with your body height and frame. Check out this link for definitions of each of these styles.

Once you have picked your hat size and style, and your dress, you generally have one of two routes to choose: you either emphasize the dress, or the hat. But not both.

If your dress is patterned, unless it is very subtle and low-key, keep your hat color and decor to a minimum to avoid looking psychotic and overdone. Or, you can match the two, or stick to a black-and-white pallette. Here are a few examples of this classy combination (photos from hat-a-tude.com):

If your dress is a solid, or a very subtle pattern in a neutral or close to it (solid embroidery, seersucker, very subdued florals), feel free to let your hat do the shouting. This is the route I plan to take:

Once you have your outfit and hat style decided upon, time to decorate that thing. As you can see from the pictures, the hats' colors always coordinate with the outfit. If your dress is patterned, keep the hat solid or put in one other color from your dress, and keep flounce to a lower level. With solid dresses, the hat can incorporate just about any colors you want, but it's best if at least one of those is the shade of your frock.

And when it comes to ornamentation, this is a time to have fun. Deck it out with lillies, roses, netting, ribbon, and feathers of all kinds. This chance doesn't come around too often, so make the most of it!

A few suggestions on making your overall look ladylike, sophisticated and beautiful:
1) Scale down the jewelry. Pearl or diamond studs, a ring and a bracelet are plenty.
2) Clutches are best for staying out of the eyeline of the hat (not on your shoulder). Try wicker or leather, but keep it simple and make sure you can fit a flask in there.
3) I prefer hair down under the hat, but keep bobby pins or an elastic handy - if you get hot, whisk the hair under the hat and you still look chic.
4) Wear sunscreen! Everywhere!
5) Keep your colors in mind when you get a mani/pedi. Sounds minute, but if you're wearing sandals and dressing up, people will see your nails. A soft pink or classic red are good bets.
6) Nothing looks better under a hat besides a sundress than a huge pair of sunglasses.

Coming soon: a photo essay on my hat creation project.

Goodnight!
Hayley

I finally, FINALLY get my chance to wear a big hat!

2009-07-22T01:18:00.002-04:00

Yes, ladies. Next week I will be up in lovely Saratoga for Opening Weekend at the track!

But it gets better.

Much better.

August 1-2. At Saratoga. Is... the...

HATS OFF TO SARATOGA FESTIVAL

Yes, you read that right. I squealed like a pig on helium when I found out about this. The entire weekend is a festival of live music, local gourmet food and big effing hats.

A little background here: I wrote a post some time back in adoration of the gorgeous and enormous toppers ladies wear to the races, polo matches and such. The absolute Mecca of big hats is, of course, the Kentucky Derby. Churchill Downs becomes inundated with gentlemen in bow ties and croakies, and ladies in sundresses and wide-brim hats, fedoras, deep-rolled brim hats, and even couture creations that'll set you back several hundred dollars.

I adore huge hats on women. To me, they are the perfect concoction of grace, elegance, femininity and whimsy. And there are very few places in which one can still pull this look off. Even less in the North than in the South.

So while it may be a few years before I get to the Derby, I am thrilled to be attending Hats Off to Saratoga. Hats are a long-standing tradition at this gorgeous park, and next weekend, Saratoga will be hopping with people and live music. They even cap off this weekend with a hat contest on Sunday. I am in a wedding on Friday night, but I will rise early and come hell or hangover, I will be at the track by noon on Saturday.

But wait, it gets better.

I have decided that instead of shelling out $300+ for a custom hat I'll wear once (I'm saving that dough for Italy), or settling for the gramma-style pink straw numbers they sell at Sears, I am going to make my own hat. Not the hat itself - that I'm buying - but once I have the dress picked, I am shopping for a wide-brim hat and tricking it out with flowers, feathers, and ribbon. Maybe even some netting, if I'm feeling frisky.

Next post: the right hat for you, and dress/hat combinations to die for.

GIDDY UP!
Hayley

Eye Candy: Bands I'm Sweating Right Now

2009-07-17T00:10:00.005-04:00

Phoenix
Upbeat alternative band from Versailles, France.
Download: Consolation Prize

Pepper
Reggae/ska trio with dirty lyrics from Kona, Hawaii
Download: Bring Me Along

Kaiser Chiefs
Indie punk rock from Leeds, England
Download: Never Miss a Beat

Keane
English piano-rock band with U2 influences
Download: Is It Any Wonder?

G. Love & Special Sauce
Bluesy folk rockers around since the early '90s
Download: Soft and Sweet

Franz Ferdinand
Head-nodding Scot rock
Download: Lucid Dreams

The Airborne Toxic Event
Punchy, bouncy, catchy rock from L. A.
Download: Gasoline

The White Tie Affair
Techno-influenced pop-punk you can dance to
Dowload: Take It Home

James Morrison
Pensive, dry singer-songwriter; the anti-John Mayer
Download: One Last Chance

The Killers (Brandon Flowers pictured)
Upbeat electro-pop from, where else, Vegas
Download: Joy Ride

Kings of Leon
Hipster rock sound you'd never guess was from Nashville
Download: California Waiting

Should I buy?

2009-07-16T19:56:00.004-04:00

Navajo sandals?

As my Italian holiday is drawing more near, I am taking stock of my wardrobe and also being tempted by post-July 4th sales. Thirdly, I am also trying to conserve cash so I have plenty of it to dispose of while on vacation.

However... these adorable sandals, which were a fave of Jackie O, are something I've considered for a while. They are chic, seem comfortable... and are also a bit pricey at around $95 for a pair. I have been eyeing metallic ones on the interwebs for a week or two now, and am completely on the fence.

The prep inside me says, "Buy them! These will be your answer to the ubiquitous flip flops and gladiator sandals in America and beyond! They will last for years, and are a classic!"

The frugal chick inside me says, "You have brown VV flops, white Born flops, red kitten-heel sandals, wedges and strappy heeled sandals. You have enough shoes. They are too expensive right now, when you will only get another 2 months out of them, max."

What do you think, girls?

First off, do you go with Jack Rogers or Bonannos?
Are they all they're cracked up to be?
Will they allow me to spend hours sight-seeing in relative comfort?
Do they dress up AND down?
How long has your pair lasted?

Thanks for the help!
Hayley

"A hundred days, Lloyd."

2009-07-14T01:05:00.003-04:00

May come as a surprise, but in several ways I am One of the Boys. I love college sports, I enjoy beer (rarely the light stuff) and I am a huge fan of Entourage. So I, just like every other partying male 17-35 in the country watched the season premiere last night. I have to say, of all the funny staples in the episode (everyone pick on Turtle, Drama needs a job, Ari is my hero), I am excited to see a higher amount of Lloyd screen time. Lloyd is easily the funniest secondary character on the show, and I was PUMPED to see Rex Lee's name in the opening credits.

And would anyone else KILL to see the Scorcese Gatsby film that they talk about but never even show a clip of? Aghh!

The Dirty Jerz

2009-07-05T20:11:00.001-04:00

Hello to all, and I hope everyone had a great July 4th! I spent mine in Bklyn at a roof party in Bay Ridge. We watched all the major shows in the harbor and East River from the roof, with lots of great food and drinks to go around.

Alas the long weekend is drawing to a close, but I am starting the next week in a weeklong summer class at Princeton! All lacrosse rivalries aside, I have discovered that Princeton is a gorgeous campus and lovely village. I am blogging on my blackberry from the Witherspoon Bread Co. and plan to take a further walk around later. The weather is perfect and I am so excited to begin my philosophy seminar!

I won't be with easy wifi access this week but I will try to update when I get the chance. And fight the urge to buy Princeton U stuff.

Have a great week!

Hayley

The Dirty Jerz

2009-07-05T20:11:00.000-04:00

The Dirty Dozen: How would you do it?

2009-06-30T22:43:00.006-04:00

Whether it's Kennebunkport or Kathmandu, everyone needs a stylish, flexible, streamlined travel wardrobe. And if you happen to be flying anywhere, it's often recommended, especially in international cases, to bring a change of clothing or two in your carry-on, in case your luggage gets routed to you in Hawaii via... Seoul. Now that would be a disaster.

This piece of advice got me thinking... how long could I last using one carry-on?

A large carry-on bag could hold, if packed correctly, about a dozen items plus essentials like shampoo (trial size) and travel documents, etc. Say you are going somewhere with one carry-on. You get to pack 12 clothing/shoe/accessory items. What would you bring, and how long could you last without repeating an exact outfit, not counting your plane outfit?

Hayley's Dirty Dozen:

black v-neck tee shirt
printed blouse
chiffon cami
khaki mini-skirt
white jeans
dark straight-leg jeans
black sundress
flat metallic leather sandals
black wedges
white blazer
bright scarf
statement necklace

Outfit Combinations:

Sight-Seeing in Rome

Seafood dinner in Cinque Terre

Day at the Uffizi

Cafe Za-Za in Venice

Audience with the Pope

Cruise to Capri

Shopping in Milan

Alexanderplatz Jazz Club

Eight outfits with twelve pieces! Not too bad. And I didn't even cheat by just taking Outfit 7 and throwing on the scarf. If you are willing and able to re-wear items (everyone should be, and is), you can truly pack light and live light. Here are a few principles that made this Dirty Dozen a success:
- all neutral bottoms and neutral outerwear
- one flat and one high sandal, both dressed up or down
- a scarf replaces a necklace
- neutral dress, dressed up or down
- prints that are few but flexible
- comfortable shoes and washable pieces (except blazer)

If you could squeeze in one more top or a few pieces of jewelry, maybe even a belt, you could smash out a handful more awesome combinations. And all these outfits were classy, appropriate, and relatively comfortable.

What would be in your Dirty Dozen?
Hayley

Eye Candy: Chris O'Donnell

2009-06-17T22:29:00.002-04:00

Ahhh, my middle-school celebrity crush. The post below, and the guy who inspired it, made me remember Chris O'Donnell and how he was equally cute, patrician and sexy. From the day I saw Scent of a Woman, Chris has always been, to me, the boarding school boy who might any day get kicked out for having an affair with a teacher.

What, pray tell good sir, is that?

2009-06-17T22:12:00.002-04:00

It rather seems like I've been asking many questions lately, and tonight I am going to ask another.

At the gym (always a good source for blog fodder), I had done my 20min treadmill warm-up and headed to the elliptical for a nice, high-resistance 30min session. I spotted a free machine in front of the TBS channel, and jumped at it. Seconds later, I'm spinning the dial on my iPod and glance to the right, where I see a guy with Brandon Boyd's body and Chris O'Donnell's face working out next to me.

Yeah. Jackpot.

He catches my glance and we flash friendly smiles before moving on to our business. For a few minutes I'm in rhythm, getting in the zone, when I notice out of the corner of my eye, Chris Boyd's head moving in a peculiar, inconsistent manner. I subtlely glance over and down, and am perturbed by what I see.

Now, as an aside, I couldn't find a picture of what this guy was doing anywhere on the interwebs, and if Google can't find it, it has to be weird.

Mr. Boyd had one ankle crossed over the other, while he basically rode the elliptical on one pedal, keeping the arms going, but basically having both feet on the right pedal. This technique caused this beautiful man both to move in a jerky, less-than-smooth manner on the machine, as well as to look dainty and, of course, unattractive.

Ladies, this was the elliptical equivalent of riding sidesaddle.

I almost went cross-eyed straining to look at this guy while keeping my head facing forward. He would do this for about a minute, then go back to normalcy. But about every five minutes, he'd be sidesaddle again, rotating sides but still looking like a douche.

Now, I'm no personal trainer, I am not Jillian Michaels, and I pronounced it "pie-lates" before I knew better. I'm no exercise expert. So if you are, or if you do this thing yourself, please tell me.

What is that?

If you're tired, slow down or take a pause for water. If you have a cramp, pause and stretch. But for the love of all that is holy, please avoid this effeminate and awkward technique, especially if you are sinewy of figure and have dimples to kill. Chris Boyd could have asked me to go to Peter Luger's right then and there, and... well, I'd still consider it but I wouldn't be as ecstatic as normal. I'd be panicked trying to figure out a roundabout way to ask him WTF was up with that move.

Any thoughts?
Hayley

Where did all the good guys go?

2009-06-15T21:15:00.004-04:00

I have been having less-than-stellar luck with this online dating adventure I've commenced. I know not everyone I meet will be a match, naturally. But do we see a pattern of communication here?

Guy #1: no chemistry (in my opinion)
Guy #2: no chemistry (in both our opinions)
Guy #3: talked only about himself - was over after 1/2 cappuccino
Guy #4: Pete. Really really liked. Busy schedules but great phone. Had our last great conversation about a month ago, never heard from him again.
Guy #5: more into me than I was into him.
Guy #6: 2 awesome emails, 1 great 2-hour phone call, agreement to meet for dinner... never heard from him again.
Guy #7: 4 great emails, asked me for my number to talk over the phone, I email it... never heard from him again.
Guy #8: good AIM conversations for about 4 days, suddenly never appears online anymore.

Pattern?

What is it with guys and the disappearing act? I'm not gonna say I've never done it, but definitely not in the last couple of years. We're too old for that.

Gentlemen, if you're not feeling it with a girl, the manly thing to do is tell her. If not to her face, then over the phone, even over email or (shudders) text. At least the rejection will be clear, even if you don't provide a reason.

And as an aside, as I wasn't in official relationships with any of these guys, I'm aware they didn't "owe me" any explanation, or so I'm told. But isn't informative honestly the most respectful way to speak with someone?

After experimenting with a 6-month membership begun in February (it's up in August), I have learned a few things about the digital jungle that is online dating:

Appearances usually disappoint, compared to photos and the image you conjure up in your head.
Going into the date, you must be prepared with lots of interesting, open-ended questions to keep the conversation going.
Men (and women) seem to approach this form of dating like a sport. It's high-volume and low-risk, so you can never assume you're special to anyone.
First impressions are paramount. If he isn't interested in making his a good one, it's all downhill from there.
Like Chris Rock said, on a date, you aren't meeting the person; you're meeting their representative. Everyone has flaws, skeletons and quirks that will eventually come out and annoy you.
Don't let the stars in your head get too shiny. Until he says it, you are NOT exclusive.
Keeping your pants on keeps your guard up. Physical intimacy leads to emotional attachment, so stay away. You look at men more objectively when you haven't gone past kissing.
Update pictures every couple of months. There's nothing more annoying than meeting someone whose pictures were taken 2 years or 30lbs ago, especially when you put yourself out there honestly and clearly.
For each new person you meet, try a new place. So if the date sucks, at least you tried a new pub/restaurant/cafe.
Take a date with someone who's not your type. You might stumble upon your new type, or gain a new friend in the process.

So ladies, if you're considering taking the plunge, I say go for it. You spend the amount you'd spend in a weekend in the city (easily) for a 6-month membership. You'll meet new people, enhance your calendar and maybe even meet someone special. The downsides are that since these potential matches aren't much more than complete strangers, it's very easy for them to disappear, seemingly out of the blue. There are also many people on there for whom it's easy to see why they are single.

I'm going to keep on trucking with this for the next couple of months. Assuming I don't meet a good match by mid-August, I'm giving my subscription a break. Playing the game can be tiring, but not if you always remember that for many men, it is a game.

And boys, if you're not feeling a girl, just tell her, damn it!

Kiss,
Hayley

I had Dunkirk!

2009-06-07T21:37:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I took the train out to Long Island for the annual Belmont Stakes. This is the 3rd leg of the Triple Crown, and although there was no contender for it this year, it was still a pretty great day.

Belmont is situated in the town of Elmont (no joke), and from what I saw, Elmont is a dump. But once you enter the gates, you forget the outside world and are surrounded by green paddocks, TV trees, turn-of-the-century architecture (I think) and people dressed to impress. There were even some hats, even a couple of big ones, contrary to what I'd heard.

I was all set to post a bunch of photos I took and Blogger seems to disagree with thoroughbred racing. But I'll try again later!

Hayley

Preliminary To-Do List

2009-06-01T20:59:00.002-04:00

Now that my trip to Italia is booked, I've begun doing my research. My first discovery?

I don't know squat about this country!

I thought Capri was on the east coast near Greece and that Florence and Venice were a 2-hour ride from each other. I speak zero Italian and to be completely straight, I don't even know about most of the sights in each city I'm visiting. So I have plenty of reading to do.

But in the little bit I have done so far, and with a little help from Contikipedia, I've made a list to begin a working itinerary. Sounds like I'll need a few recovery days when I get home.

The Italy That Will Happen:

breaking my neck looking at the Sistine Chapel
eating gelato with every meal
swimming in Capri's Green Grotto
tripping over a stiletto in the cobblestones
eating a lemon right off the tree in Sorrento
taking a cab ride through Rome
buying designer sunnies in Milan
drinking on a gondola ride in Venice

The Italy That Might Happen:

Florence discoteque!
a chance meeting with a local boy
hiking to the top of Capri
getting lost
lemoncello coma
breaking a sandal hiking in Cinque Terre
a reasonable leather Florentine purse
getting mauled by pigeons
getting mauled by gypsies

The Italy That Will Never Happen:

bad food

It's official...

2009-05-29T21:46:00.002-04:00

I'm going to Italy!

Booking is complete. Now accepting any and all tips, restaurant recommendations, stories and cautionary tales.

Salute!!!!!
- Hayley

All over Italy in 2 carry-ons Part 2: Makeup and Jewelry

2009-05-17T16:32:00.002-04:00

When packing for a big vacation to somewhere fabulous, your first instinct will be to cram as much clothing, accessories and beauty products in you luggage as you can. I addressed overpacking clothes in my last post, but two other things women tend to overpack are makeup and accessories.

When you're in an exotic, foreign land, there are so many more wondrous things to think about than your eyelash curler. Granted, individual cosmetic items don't take up much room in and of themselves, but it's important to make the most of your makeup bag's space. Pack wisely and you can fit shampoo, deodorant, floss, and other handy things in there, leaving more room for souvenirs.

When packing beauty supplies, like clothing, it's important to bring multitaskers. Benetint doubles as blush and lip color, and Benefit 10 Bronzer has both bronzer and highlighter to use anywhere on your face. Now is not the time to try trendy makeup or to paint layers on your face. In my case, Italy will be very warm and I'll want to keep it simple and pretty, as well as lightweight.

The Ideal Travel Makeup Bag

Tinted moisturizer with SPF
Concealer
Night cream
Mattifying powder
2 eyeliners
Mascara
1 eyeshadow palette
Bronzer
2 lip products (1 dark, 1 light)

I like to bring one black eyeliner for night, and one brown or violet for daytime. The right moisturizers are crucial, to avoid sun damage and keep your skin looking as good as usual. The eyeshadow palette is key for blending and flexibility in a small package. I like Clinique's Spicy Eyeshadow quad, with a gold, a pink, a medium brown and a chocolate brown.

Next: the jewelry. Few women love jewelry more than me. Costume jewelry, inherited silver, modern pieces from Boucheron... I love 'em all. But again, when traveling it is necessary to streamline and pick your most loved and versatile pieces. Keep in mind that one great statement necklace can easily dress up a tank and shorts, but how many do you really need to bring?

The Ideal Travel Jewelry Case

Pearl or diamond studs
Simple hoop earrings
Watch
Silver necklace or pendant
Coordinating bracelet
2 pairs big earrings
1 statement necklace
Handful of bangles
1 cocktail ring

The statement necklace should be interesting, but not too memorable. Tortoiseshell, amber, neutral beads, seashells and thin long chains are great. When considering the statement necklace, hold it up to all your tops or dresses and see how the colors work to make sure it's a good choice. And like the statement necklace, big earrings or a cocktail ring go a long way as well. For the earrings, I'd take one silver-based pair and one really funky pair. Once you get to your destination, you won't even miss the other clutter in your jewelry box.

And finally... accessories. Scarves, purses, belts... I love 'em too, girls. But once again, streamline. Pare down. Stick to neutrals. I mentioned purses in my last post, but when it comes to other accessories, this is where our bags tend to runneth over. A scarf or belt adds a lot to a simple sundress or solid outfit. Just keep these to a minimum. One wide belt, one skinny. One warmer scarf (pashmina), and one gauzy one, in neutral colors or patterns.

And if you get nothing else from this advice, remember this:

The more you pack, the less room you have to take home fabulous jewelry, scarves, purses, shoes and souvenirs. And the fewer items in your closet for which you can say, "I got this in Rome."

Cheers,
Hayley

All over Italy in two carry-ons.

2009-05-11T22:12:00.005-04:00

As I pointed out the other day, some airlines are offering really good deals on nonstop fares to exotic, balmy and romantic destinations. I did just go to Europe last summer, but one country I've yet to cross off the list is Italy. Italia seems like the ultimate in dichotomies: tons of history and tons of fashion; diverse cities and regions and a unifying culture; priceless art and fabulous nightlife; sharp-dressed in the streets but casual in attitude; sexy yet Catholic.

Since the vast majority of my friends are somewhere in the engagement process, they certainly aren't spending money right now, especially in this... do I have to say it? Anyway, the lack of friends or someone special to travel with isn't going to stop me. I've been looking into Contiki tours, which my sister used to go to Greece and adored. Singles 18-35 in fabulous European cities? Count me in!

One of the most daunting tasks for a traveler that I find positively riveting is the packing of the suitcase. I used to be a high-maintenance packer, frenzied that I'd desperately want the one top-bottom-shoe combination I didn't pack, and the entire trip would be ruined. But since then, I've learned both what my wardrobe multitaskers are and how to better combine items, and that combined with lots of travel has made me quite the light packer.

Always remember: If you pack light, you manage to live light.

But the key to packing light and still looking and feeling fabulous is bringing the right items. And a bottle of Febreeze, if you can manage it. So here is my exercise in and preview of packing light for the trip of a lifetime to a country many people on dream of seeing.

But before we begin, there are three grains of wisdom I gained from experience:

1) You can, and should, wear items more than once. A little soap in the sink or bathtub, hang it to dry overnight, and you'll get another wear out of the item. By the third wear it might get a bit skanky, but better than hauling a 40lb suitcase up four flights of stairs (bonjour, Hotel St. Honore!).

2) You must roll clothes when packing. Saves so much room! Fold the item lengthwise and roll it tightly, and you'll double the amount you can fit in your suitcase. Often helps avoid wrinkling too.

3) You must pick a general range of formality for your clothes. Depending on your destination, your clothes will need to be of a certain caliber of dressiness. You can dress 'em up or down with accessories, but a trip to London would call for a different range of formality than, say, Punta Cana. Also, a neutral color palette will offer you many more options.

For the trip I'm planning, the vast majority of activities I'll dress for will be sight-seeing in casual and semi-formal places (streets of Capri, the Vatican), going out at night and riding an air-conditioned motorcoach. I'm not expecting air-conditioning anywhere, so it'll be a bonus if we come across it. Finally, I expect to do a ton of walking and as much as I fancy the idea of a tryst with a sexy Florentine gentleman in capri pants and a linen shirt, sex appeal won't be my top priority. But I'll need to make sure I'm appropriate and chic enough to avoid the Ugly American thing. Kinda tough not to look like a tourist when you're on a tour, but at least I can be a smartly-dressed East Coast girl with travel savvy!

In the large carry-on (small rolling suitcase):

1 pair jeans
1 pair white/beige linen pants
2 lightweight skirts
3-5 camis/sleeveless tops
3-5 tops with sleeves (blouses, Oxfords)
2-3 sundresses, at least 1 evening-appropriate
1 lightweight blazer
1 cardigan
1 pair flip-flops
1 pair heels/tall sandals
1 pair wedges/comfortable tall shoes
Underthings, as many as necessary. No recycling here!
2 sets PJs
1 great all-around purse
1 wristlet/small clutch

Right there you have a few dresses that can be layered with outerwear, at least a dozen top/bottom permutations and shoes to fit most any activity you'll do. And if that list looks long, roll your clothes, pack your undies in the purse, your jewelry in the clutch... you get the idea.

And now for the small carry-on, in my case a large Vera Bradley tote:

Toothbrush, paste, floss
Contact lens case and solution
Deodorant
Brush
Curling hairspray
Bobby pins, clips and elastics
Small make-up bag (more on this later)
Chi (and voltage adapter!)
Cosmetic bag, filled with jewelry (more on this later)
Cell phone and camera, and chargers
Essentials (wallet, passport, etc.)
iPod
Journal and 2 pens
Guidebook

Everything beauty-related (just check fluid sizes), and anti-plane-boredom. The tote also makes a third bag option if you need to carry a lot of stuff, or plan to go shopping.

Unnecessary space-suckers:

Hair dryer. Shower at night and Chi in the morning, or go wavy. Low-maintenance, girls!
5 pairs of shoes. Choose 3 versatile ones and you'll find it's plenty. Same goes for purses.
Every piece of costume jewelry you own.
Full-size make-up and hair products. This is what samples are for!
Food.
More than one book. Wouldn't you rather write down your thoughts, or reminisce?

Again, if you pack light, you manage to live light. You know that time in the morning when you're trying to figure out what to wear, and you're frenzied and overwhelmed, and you forget why you're on vacation? It all goes away when you pack light. Because you don't have a ton of choices. So you pick something in a neutral color palette, add some chic jewelry, and focus on the reason for your trip: vivid life experience in a foreign setting. And (hopefully) when you're gazing at the photo of you under a lemon tree in Sorrento, on your desktop while you're in sterile air-conditioning back at work, you'll fondly remember the spunky woman in a muumuu selling ceramic plates and limoncello, and not how it annoyed you that you left your pink, studded gladiator sandals at home.

Finally, while you want to live light, be prepared with one nice outfit. Most of the fun in traveling is in the unexpected, so if you happen to get asked to dinner at a chic restaurant in Venice by a cute local boy, you want to seize your dressier sundress, tall sandals and clutch so you can take advantage of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity with class.

Next post: the perfect make-up and jewelry collections for traveling light!

Cheers to travel,
Hayley

Next!

2009-05-11T16:24:00.003-04:00

I called him Friday. No call back. I called him last night (while he was on match.com). No call back yet. So, I deleted Fuckface (my friend Brian's affectionate term for Pete) from my phone. I knew if I kept his hard-to-memorize number in my phone that I'd always be tempted to reach out to a guy who hasn't made an effort to contact me in a week, not even to tell me it's not working out and he's not interested. So I took Patti Stanger's advice, and made a vacuum for the universe to fill.

Let me splain. I'm not a big metaphysical believer, and I was very skeptical when I read parts of The Secret. But Patti makes a great point in her book when she talks about getting rejected by a guy: cut off all ties, focus on the positive future, and make room in your life for a new guy to come in. Like Suze Orman encourages people to clean out their wallets so new money can come in, Patti advocates getting rid of gifts from exes, and purging memories and contact information to make room for new ones.

For the record, 2 minutes after I did this, my Blackberry buzzed with a wink from a new guy. After looking at his profile I'm not totally interested, but I thought the timing was notable.

Whether the small action of deleting Pete from my phone brings another better man close to me remains to be seen. However, now I can avoid the sting of rejection when I'm scrolling through my contacts and come across his name. Plus, the ball is permanently in his court, so if he wanted to contact me, he can. But I won't be able to call him, no matter how much I want to (and I do). And eventually, I swear I will get past the stalking-his-match-profile stage.

Odds are, he met someone else that he's more interested in and is focusing on her. Or perhaps he decided he's not into a serious relationship at the moment, and is logging onto match.com for fun or out of boredom. Either way, I'm sure Steve Ward and Patti would say he wasn't the guy for me, and there's no point wasting time or emotion on him. That's easier said than done, and I doubt I'll ever get the closure I want out of this. But dating is after all a numbers game, and I try on tons of shoes before finding a pair I adore, so dating wouldn't be much different, I suppose.

Maybe this seems melodramatic for a guy with whom I had 5 dates in 2 months... but when I feel a click, I know it, and I guess I fall hard and fast. But I'm not the first girl to get rejected, or to have a guy disappear on her out of the blue. I'm sure it'll happen again. But for now, I'm planning travel, communicating with other guys and exercising my butt off.

Thanks to everyone who read and commented on my hormone roller coaster! I'm sure there will be plenty more stories for you, and maybe one of them will be one about finding true love.

Next!
Hayley

I don't understand.

2009-05-10T22:13:00.002-04:00

I haven't updated on the status of Pete and I for a while because there hasn't been anything to report. And I'm getting a sinking feeling I'm getting brushed off.

I last spoke to Pete a week ago, on our weekly Sunday night phone call. It wasn't anything official, but we have basically spoken for at least an hour every Sunday night since we started talking. Last Sunday we had another great conversation, and agreed to talk soon.

Come Friday, I hadn't heard from him, and I was surprised. Since we had conflicts in our schedules the last 3 weekends, I thought he'd be interested in making plans this weekend. Around 3pm I left him a voice mail. It's 10:15 on Sunday and still nothing. I know today is Mother's Day and he was probably home with the family for the day... but he couldn't find the time over the whole weekend to shoot me a quick call, or even a text?

I know I'm not his girlfriend and it's not like he owes me anything... but I can't shake this feeling like he's moved on. I haven't seen the guy in a month and I'm hurt by the lack of call back, and the lack of plans this weekend. Everything seemed to be going great, and he was sufficiently surprised and taken aback when I told him about my other date. So what's changed?

I don't know what I did wrong. I don't know what he's thinking. I don't know anything, except that he's been on match.com in the past 24 hours. Be honest with me girls. I'm getting left behind, am I not?

This sucks.

Are these great travel deals or what???

2009-05-07T22:19:00.003-04:00

NYC - Sydney - $861
NYC - Rome - $812
NYC - Dublin - $573
NYC - Athens - $770

Gym Faux Pas

2009-05-05T20:38:00.002-04:00

Anyone who visits (and actually exercises at) a gym at least twice a week will inevitably develop a routine. For me, the routine is as follows: check in, locker room for stretching, water and the loo (because as soon as you jump on the elliptical, the urge to go sneaks up on you), then 20-45min cardio on 2-3 machines, 20 minutes of weights working various body parts, then more stretching in the locker room and a water bottle fillup before I head home.

On top of developing a routine, one also develops some pet peeves as a result of the behavior of some of the clientele. Some of my complaints are justifiable for health reasons, and others simply vex me. But my gym would undoubtedly be a much happier place if I didn't face one or more of the following faux pas every time I walked in the door.

Working out in non-athletic gear. Cargo shorts? Polo shirts? Slip-on Pumas? Button-downs?? Denim cutoffs?? Ghetto hoops??? Swimming trunks??????? Yes, I have honestly seen all of those, and I'm not sure how these people are even allowed on the floor like that. If you could spring for the gym membership, drop by Old Navy or Marshall's and get some cotton shorts, t-shirts and sweatpants, immediately. You are not impressing anyone with your Lacoste polo, and those earrings are about to get snagged by an errant finger or free weight. Plus, are you even comfortable?
Not wiping down equipment after you use it. H1N1 or not, touching equipment glistening with someone else's sweat is just plain revolting. I know you're a big tough guy training for a triathlon with Lance and Phelpsie, and you can't let your heart rate drop one beat for even a second, but do us all a favor - jog your pretty little self over to the paper towels and spray, and clean up the mess you made. Your athletic prowess isn't contagious, but your carelessness is airborne.
Talking on the phone while working out. First off, if you can have a controlled conversation for more than 30 seconds, you're not working hard enough. Second, I'm not going to risk hearing loss to drown out your conversation about the dog's diabetes. Third... READ THE EFFING SIGN!
Weight machine ADD. 20 reps before moving on? Fine. A few sets of 10 with a breather in between? Great. But 5 here, 5 on the next, back to the first, 5 on yet another... Not only is this unsanitary (you can bet these guys aren't wiping down), but it bogarts machines, and it's really obnoxious when your homeboys follow you around egging you on like Nick Cannon wannabes.
Utter lack of apparent work. If you're a senior citizen, recovering from a knee injury or are very overweight, I'm totally understanding of a slow pace and modified work. To each his own! But if the gym is packed, with people waiting for treadmills, and you're going 1.8mph on a 0 incline for 2 hours because you want to read this month's Cosmo, and you're in decent health, you're just being selfish. Some people actually want to burn off last night's wine!
Water cooler behavior. This is not the break room, nor your Monday night Gossip Girl club. If you want to chat, please find a better place than the paper towels/spray shelf, the exit of the locker room, the water fountain or the only walkspace between the ellipticals and treadmills. The gym is crowded enough.

And my #1 gym faux pas....
CHILDREN AT THE GYM.
There is no Romper Room. There is no baby yoga. There isn't even a giant empty mat which would welcome children doing jumping jacks or playing on it. So why are you here?

Well, your parents brought you because they didn't want to pay for the babysitter, or they think their little 10-year old needs to shed a few pounds. But you are too short and small for these machines, and you are very likely to get hurt. You are not supposed to assume the "spread eagle" while standing on the elliptical pedals. The last thing I need after 45 minutes on the cross ramp and grueling arm toning exercises is to worry about tripping over your little boy on my way to the locker room. Leave the kids at home, or find a child-friendly Y that will accommodate all of you. Now GTFO.

I think it's time to find a new gym!
Hayley

PS: Thanks to everyone who's been reading and commenting on my romantic escapades. When I have more juice I'll give you the update, but in the meantime I appreciate all the luv ;-)

Not much to report

2009-04-29T20:46:00.003-04:00

To make short of a long story that is probably deathly boring to anyone but me, things with Pete are progressing... decently.

The good signs:

he got jealous when I mentioned that I went out to dinner with another guy last weekend when he was too busy to have a date with me
then he tried to convince me that the other guy is a tool and how much better he is
we still talk on the phone for hours, a couple times a week
he's as funny and charming as ever
And the big one... when I asked if he was dating anyone else, I received an incredulous "No."

The bad signs:

I haven't seen him in about 2 weeks, because we've both had our weekends full.

That wouldn't bother me as much, except I think he may have been sliiiightly busier than I. Regardless, we were talking about making plans last night. He's free Saturday, I'm not, due to a family 30th birthday party. I'm free Friday, he's not, due to an engagement party of a friend. I'm so frustrated! I miss him, and I'm afraid of the old saying - out of sight, out of mind. We've still been talking plenty so I shouldn't be worried, but I'm starting to wonder if we're ever going to go out again, and if he's going to start to lose interest. And I don't want to move into the Friend Zone.

Hopefully something will be figured out this weekend... at least lunch, please!!! Please?

Eye Candy: Steve Ward

2009-04-22T18:50:00.003-04:00

I sincerely hope everyone reading has watched "Tough Love" on VH1. Even if you think you know everything you need to know about dating, or if you're off the market, it's really entertaining. A full post on the show is coming later, but yet another great reason to watch is host and cute-patootie matchmaker Steve Ward. Not only is he smart, witty, blunt and compassionate, but he's sexy as hell! Unfortunately there aren't a ton of photos of him on the interwebs just yet, but there's time.

"I like talking to you."

2009-04-20T20:52:00.002-04:00

Pete and I took a break from seeing each other this weekend... we both had other plans and saw each other twice last week. But of course, as always, I was dying to talk to him and as I wished/predicted, he called last night. It was another funny, sexy coy 2-hour conversation, as always.

But my favorite part was around the 90-minute mark, when I told him I was pleasantly surprised at his enjoyment of the phone. Most men, as we know, use the phone for strictly business, and find nothing duller or effeminate than talking on the phone for more than 15 minutes.

Me: "I have to tell you, I'm surprised that we talk for so long on the phone. Most men hate the phone."
Pete: "I hate the phone. I always text for plans and I can't stand calling people. But I like talking to you."

::swoon::

It must be a good sign when a straight, 26-year old man will talk to you for 2 or 3 hours at a time, and only hang up because you have to get up for work in 5 hours... right?

Crossing my fingers for a call tomorrow, to make plans for Saturday... we'll see. More on this later.

Hayley

WTF?

2009-04-18T22:59:00.003-04:00

Another one!

Just got off the phone with a new guy... who managed to mention his ex in the first 4 minutes of conversation!!!

What is going on with you men? Get a clue!

How do you handle this?

2009-04-15T23:50:00.004-04:00

I saw Pete again today. He was in my area on a job interview, and we spent the afternoon together. We had a coffee, then went for a walk around the upper west side. We decided to go for a drink at a pub, then had dinner together. We finally went our separate ways around 9:30, after spending about 6 hours together. I got several delicious kisses goodnight, and he thought the pastries were very thoughtful.

But (you knew that was coming), my Scorpio jealousy flared up a bit during a conversation we had. At least on the inside. Of course, on the outside, I remained inquisitive, yet cool and optimistic. He brought up his "mean ex" while we were at the pub, in a blase way. He has referred to her a couple of times, and told me that she was intelligent but harsh, critical and unfriendly, even with his family and friends.

This chick sounds like nothing for me to worry about. But today, while we were talking about this (briefly, but still), I told him I was only asking because I saw photos of her in his cell phone and his apartment, (His response to those photos were "That's nothing for you to worry about," or "We don't need to talk about that.") and was wondering if it was traumatic for him.

And that's when he said it: "Of course it was traumatic. I loved her. She was the person I was going to spend my life with."

That sentence hit me like a punch in the throat. My face didn't flinch, but my stomach turned in a knot and I immediately felt a burning surge of jealousy. I guess I've got it bad.

Maybe it's my own insecurity. Maybe it's the fact that I haven't fallen in love yet. Maybe it's the fact that he broke up with this girl only in August of last year. Maybe it's my heart rushing things and causing my head to spin, but whatever it is, I am spinning.

This would be easier to swallow if I didn't know her name, hadn't seen several pictures of her in his phone and two at his apartment (she's pretty), and frankly, if he hadn't used the "L" word regarding someone else. Of course, I asked for it, and I'm now driving myself crazy. I automatically feel inferior to this chick, and now my world has been rocked, and I'm not feeling so secure as I have been in the past couple of weeks.

On top of this, I know via my stalkeriffic skills that he's been signing onto the online dating website (where we met) just about every day. Even tonight after seeing me.

Oh, don't judge. It's actually pretty easy - viewing someone's profile tells you the last time they signed on. I'm not proud of doing this, but falling for a guy will do crazy things to a girl.

This guy's talk and actions all go in the right direction. Chivalry, generosity, chemistry and fun are all good signs. He's told me he wants a girlfriend, wants to be in a relationship. And maybe I'm making mountains out of molehills. But here are my issues, boiled down in easy-to-read format:

I don't want to be a rebound.
I want a committed, exclusive relationship.
I don't know where I stand with him.

We've gone out 5 times and first began talking on the phone about a month ago. I know some people go months dating before deciding to be exclusive. Here are my questions:

How long do I wait?
Is the ex something I should be concerned about?
Should I bring up the exclusivity talk?

And finally... how much time do I give the guy before I allow myself to get hurt?

Hayley

Book Review: Become Your Own Matchmaker, by Patti Stanger

2009-04-15T01:05:00.003-04:00

In a recent amazon.com order that just arrived today, I received a few books. Among them was the frank, funny and optimistic book on love by Patti Stanger, of The Millionaire Matchmaker. I started watching this show on a lazy Sunday afternoon, approaching it with the cynical mindset that it would be a show about gold diggers and the men who love them. I was pleasantly surprised to see how Patti, owner of the matchmaking company, prepared and coached men into making good mates, and how she selected and groomed the female members before admitting them.

Let's get the truth out of the way about Patti. If you've seen even one episode, you know Patti Stanger could be described as blunt, opinionated, vulgar, tough, outspoken, conservative (in dating), loudmouthed, bossy, demanding, high-maintenance, harsh and insensitive. However, I am hooked on The Millionaire Matchmaker because the woman is smart, has great instincts, and can see right through everyone she meets. I eat up delicious nuggets of wisdom in each episode I see.

The tough-love, super-honest approach of TMM is what prompted me to order this book. The full title is Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate. It is exactly as it sounds: a guide to the phases of dating that progress from first-meeting to marriage. I wanted to give it a shot because, while I'm having good luck with dates these days, I want to keep my options open. Plus, I wanted to see if I passed Patti's tests for date-ability. Basically, I want to make sure I'm not sabotaging myself. And who doesn't?

The great news: I, apparently, make a great dater, am a fantastic listener, don't call too often, and abide by all of Miz Stanger's Dating Commandments. The other great news for you: every single girl can learn something from this book. It's about 275 pages and I read it in a single evening. I caught myself saying "Yeah, I've met that guy" and "Yeah, I definitely blew it on that one" to a few stories in the book. I also learned my favorite new Yiddish word: bashert (meant to be).

Rather than give you a play-by-play that you can get from amazon.com, here are some of my favorite passages from the book. These are actually highlighted in bright pink! Incidentally, these tidbits sum up the primary ideals in the book very well.

One good orgasm spoils the bunch.
Get off the phone after fifteen minutes, or you'll have nothing else to talk about when you see each other.
Honey, to men, one hole is like any other hole. If you hold out long enough for them to get to know you, that's when they'll fall in love.
The penis does the picking.
All East-Coast girls know that no matter how much you like a guy, you never accept a last-minute date.
A man will only be drawn to her once she realizes that she can be happy without him.
I forgive all the men who came before; I start with me.
In the beginning, what's really important is that when he kisses you, your toes curl.
How much better do you feel after taking a hike and eating a crunchy salad than after watching two hours of TV and helping yourself to a steaming pile of chili cheese fries? You want to feel sleek and sexy, not bloated and lethargic.
If your waist measurement is 70% of your hip measurement, men will think you're hotter.
You must ALWAYS wait for him to contact you. (internet dating)
Coffee is cheap, drinks are an audition, lunch is an interview, but dinner means business - the business of romance.
Those who travel in packs do not attract.
A good woman will signal a man, then let him come to her.
YOU CAN'T CHANGE A MAN.
If you find a guy who calls when he says he will and takes you out on a regular basis, I don't care if he's a three-eyed dwarf, nab him!
Women fall in love on the date. Men fall in love after the date.

For a fun but informative and blunt exploration of the mind of the average man, definitely pick this book up. Like her or not, Patti makes some good points and makes every woman feel fabulous, deserving of love and pampering, and confident that there is someone out there who will make her toes curl.

Hayley

Update on the boy

2009-04-15T00:56:00.002-04:00

Not that anyone besides me really cares... but as you may have read a week or so ago, I am slightly infatuated with Pete (pseudonym), a guy who I've been dating for a little over a month. We went on our fourth date last night, at a sushi place with great cocktails (I only had 2). I didn't have work today, but he did... and I still stayed at his place kissing and spooning until 2am. He still complained when I left.

He has paid for every date. He is an amazing kisser. We have the most exciting chemistry I've felt with anyone in a long time. He opens doors, pays me compliments, and isn't trying to rush into bed. We talk about the Philharmonic, our families, our careers, and little things, like how he'd get rid of his refrigerator if he had the time to shop and cook for every meal.

He happens to have a meeting in my neck of the woods tomorrow, so we're meeting up after work. After four great dates, progressing from drinks, to dinners out, to a dinner in, I'm taking a cue from Patti Stanger (you'll see why in the next post) and doing something sweet for the guy, maybe bringing him more of the Italian pastries he loved when I brought them to dinner at his place.

Honestly, I just want to see him smiling at me, and get a kiss. Or 10. Wheeeee!

- Hayley

Good Habits, Bad Habits

2009-04-10T23:55:00.003-04:00

During a lively discussion about Lent at the bar tonight, my friends and I got to talking about our worst habits. Lent is the period of time between Ash Wednesday and Easter, and the two main Catholic traditions during Lent are not to eat meat on Fridays, and to give something up. This "something" is usually a guilty pleasure, an unhealthy habit or an addictive substance. The idea is that you're supposed to improve yourself during Lent by removing a toxic substance or habit from your life. Some people take the approach that Lent is the time to gain a positive habit, like flossing.

Some of my favorite things others sacrificed in the name of Lent have been: fast food, chocolate, ice cream, liquor (not beer), marijuana, cursing, biting fingernails, acrylic nails (Amen), cigarettes (never sticks), online shopping, and porn. Some positive habits others have gained during Lent include flossing, drinking 64oz of water a day, exercising daily, not cursing, and curbing impulse shopping.

From there, the flood gates opened. Turns out, many of my friends (and I) have habits of which we're not proud, and some we would rather take to the grave. We all know nobody is perfect, and a few quirks and odd habits here and there help make people unique. But, for all our faults, turns out me and my girls also have many good habits. Listing your habits makes for interesting self-therapy: it helps you discover patterns about yourself, and lets you decide which battles are worth fighting.

For instance, my worst habits include:

never making the bed in the morning
biting my lips when they're chapped
snacking at night
online impulse shopping
flipping when watching TV
leaving coffee cups in my car

For health reasons, I always make an effort to not bite my lips and slather on the gloss, and when I do snack at night, it's usually low-fat popcorn or Greek yogurt. And given everyone's fear of becoming jobless, I have a post-it on my computer screen reminding me to think before I buy, and always ask myself, "Do I need this? Really, Hayley?" Those are battles worth fighting, but I don't think I'll be getting to the pillows or coffee cups any time soon.

My best habits include:

flossing!
holding the door for people
doing the dishes immediately after dinner
paying my bills on time
working out 3-6 times per week
using shoe deodorant

I have never observed Lent, as my family isn't Catholic. But this time of year I always remember that it exists, and often reevaluate my habits unintentionally. The key is to be honest in your self-assessment. Everyone has a bad habit or two, but you also have good ones.

What are your vices? What are your virtues?
Happy Easter!
Hayley

Nina Garcia's The 100

2009-04-09T22:42:00.003-04:00

Miz Garcia's book has been on shelves for some time now, and I haven't bought it because I prefer lists in digital, free form, rather than paying $25 for a book that has much of the information I can read in a magazine instead, for less. For the unaware, Nina Garcia is the fashion editor at the fabulous Marie Claire, and she has published a few books about style and fashion. The One Hundred: A Guide to the Pieces Every Stylish Woman Must Own is, in her opinion, a compilation of necessary items. Supposedly, the inclusion of all of these will make for a complete, versatile, stylish closet.

For the record, I don't think all of these items are necessities, nor do I think that they will all fit into everyone's personal style. However, I thought it would be interesting to post the list, and figure out how many I already have. The ones I don't, I'll decide if they are necessary, would be nice to have, or are items I will never own.

Nina Garcia's The 100:

A-line Dress. I have three, for different seasons. Definitely essential.
Animal Print. Leopard round-toe pumps, but that's it. Can look trashy.
Ankle Bootie. Too trendy and unflattering on legs.
Aviators. YES. I've gone through many pairs of this wise-ass item.
Ballet flat. Brown, black, yellow, red, tweed... yes.
Bangles. A few enamel ones, but haven't worn them lately.
Belts. Two for dresses and tops. Hardly ever worn on pants.
Bikini. Yes, but won't be wearing them again until I lose my winter 5lbs.
Blackberry. Technology is not style. Ask the French.
Black Opaque Tights. Yes - flattering and chic!
Blazer. Several. No shoulder pads.
Boyfriend Cardigan. Yes, a white toggle L.L. Bean cardigan.
Brooch. Yes, but I haven't worn them for a few years.
Cable-Knit Sweater. Too too many!!
Caftan. No. part of me wonders if only J.Lo can pull these off.
Camel Coat. No, because it doesn't suit my coloring, but looks great on others.
Cape. Seriously Nina?
Cashmere Sweater. Can't get enough.
Charm Bracelet. Pretty, but I don't have one because they annoy me.
Clutch. Crucial for cocktail wear.
Cocktail Ring. LOVE!
Converse. Not since 9th grade. Can be cute on guys.
Cosmetics Bag. I go through about 4 a year.
Cowboy Boots. Don't have, but have considered buying. Probably won't.
Cuff. Elegant and tough, love them.
Denim Jacket. Nothing goes better with a sundress.
Diamond Studs. They're a yes, but not in my jewelry box just yet.
Driving Shoe. I'm counting my Sperry mocs for this one.
Espadrilles. Don't really care for them. Prefer a wedge.
Evening Gown. Yes, for the day when a man takes me to the opera.
Exotic Skin Bag. Beyond leather, not important to me.
Fishnets. I would wear beige ones in a vintagey way...
Frye Harness Boot. Yes! Love my Frye boots!
Fur. No.
Gentleman's Hat. I don't look good in hats, so no.
Gloves. Leather, cashmere-lined.
Havaianas. Vineyard Vines flops are my favorite.
Hobo Bag. My Sequoia bag from Au Printemps is my favorite ever.
Hoop Earrings. Yes - silver, small, medium and large.
Investment Bag. Young, single professional women have other investments to make.
iPod. Otherwise I wouldn't work out.
Jeans. In as many styles and colors as you can afford.
Jewelry Pouches. I use my felt-lined jewelry box instead.
Khakis. A casual classic.
Knee Boots. Knee boots and a wool skirt are what one wears in the winter. Period.
Leather Pants. I'm not Axl Rose, so, no.
Lingerie. But of course ;-)
Little Black Dress. Who doesn't?
Little White Dress. Also key.
L.L. Bean Tote. Monogrammed, with long handles.
Luggage. Black and on wheels, in varying sizes.
Mad Money. Oh come on.
Men's White Shirt. A classic Oxford is something everyone should own.
Mary Janes. Not for everyone, but I have a pair.
Minnetonka Moccasin. My Sperry ones are just fine, thank you.
Missoni Knit. Never been a fan of Missoni.
Monogrammed Stationery. Have had it in the past, but not at the moment.
Motorcycle jacket. Too tough-chick for me.
Nail Polish. OPI.
Old Concert T-Shirt. Too tough-chick for me.
One-Piece Swimsuit. Yes - black can look so chic!
Pajamas. Tanks and lounge pants.
Peacoat. Yep.
Pearl Necklace. What Connecticut girl doesn't have one?
Pencil Skirt. Yes, especially in tweed.
Perfume. Miss Dior Cherie - amour.
Plain White Tee. They got their hanes on me.
Polo Shirt. I'm from Connecticut. I probably have 50.
Pucci. One scarf.
Pushup Bra. Don't need it with my girls.
Quality Champagne. Just drank the Moet last weekend!
Red Lipstick. Yes, but I save it for really glam looks.
Robe. One flannel, one satin. I'm such a fox ;-)
Safari Jacket. Yup, I love a good military look.
Sandals. So many! Heels and flats and colors!
Sarong. Anyone who's gone to the Caribbean should have one.
Signet Ring. My college ring.
Silk Scarf. Several, from Paris.
Slippers. Yes, but they're not sexy.
Spanx. Yes, bought them for a wedding last year. Haven't used them again, yet.
Statement Necklace. Several. My favorite is a big tortoiseshell pendant.
Stilettos. And how.
Striped Sailor Shirt. No, because horizontal stripes aren't flattering on anyone.
Suit. Ah, the interview suit.
Sunhat. No, but I probably should get one.
Trench. Yes!
Turquoise and Coral Jewelry. Yes, brings out the hippie in me.
Tuxedo Jacket. Never found a good time to wear it, except New Year's Even.
Umbrella. Clear, with a wooden handle.
Underwear. Some practical, some pretty. Know your audience (or lack thereof).
Valid Passport. Stamped in several places.
Vans. See #22.
Vintage. Not so much, except for jewelry and bags. I guess that counts.
Watch. Silver Seiko with a white face.
Wayfarers. Not good on my face shape.
Wellington Boot. Yes, in hunter green. So English.
Wide-leg Trousers. Yes, in twill, khaki, tweed, wool...
Wrap Dress. I have 6!
Yoga Gear. Not everyone does yoga. Cute gym clothes count.
Zippered Hoodie. Lucky Brand Jeans, circa 1998.

My score: 72 out of 100.

Some of the items on this list are clearly not essential. Some don't even go in the closet. I think if you're scoring a 50 on this list, you're doing just fine. How many do you have?

He called.

2009-04-09T22:39:00.002-04:00

Only a day after a couple hundred words dedicated to my over-analysis and fidgeting about Pete, he called. We spoke for an hour (cut it short because I was going to a wake - usually I wear out my cell battery), and made plans for Monday. Would have loved to make plans for tomorrow, but he's going back to his hometown for Easter weekend and I'm going to be in Conn. Sigh... the resurrection of Christ just has to get in the way, doesn't it???

Cheers to butterflies,
Hayley

PS: Thanks for reading!

Completely Self-Indulgent

2009-04-07T19:32:00.002-04:00

Warning... this post is going to be a very self-absorbed one, for reasons I'll explain below. I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice, commentary or a smile-and-nod reaction (providing you actually read it) but I do have some thoughts to get off my chest.

First off, a little background. Within the last year I ended a long-term relationship, and before that was college, where I (and the whole of my campus) was chronically single. Or, to put it in a more positive light, "having a good time." I've been doing a lot more dating lately, trying to get back into the game. It's been a while since I got off the bench and I'm having some trouble remembering how to play. Or if the game is even the same as it used to be.

(OK, enough with the metaphor. March Madness is over, Hayley.... get over it...)

Anyway, this past weekend I had my third date with a guy I'll call Pete. The first was drinks at a pub, lots of laughs, about 4 hours of conversation and an awesome goodnight kiss. The second was dinner at a nice Italian restaurant, and I'll be honest here, about an hour of PG-fun outside my apartment door. Lovely. This past weekend, I went to his place where he cooked me dinner, we had wine, watched a little "Entourage," and while we didn't abide by the Third Date Rule, there were some very good times had. We spent the last couple of hours of the date cuddling and talking, even dozing off a little bit. Finally at 2:00am I tore myself away and he walked me to a cab.

Sounds good so far, right?

The good signs include chivalry (paying for everything, opening doors, ladies first... swoon), intelligence (he used the word "pedantic" and I laughed along, then googled it while he was in the bathroom), hilarity (sharp, dry and smart), and sweetness (a 2:15am text that says "come back" and being told often, but not too often, that I'm beautiful). We talk on the phone about twice a week, for at least an hour each time. Our first date was March 14, so we've known each other less than a month... but it feels like so much longer.

Sounds great. At least in half my mind.

In the other half of my mind are many things. Self-consciousness. Why me? What do I have to offer? Does he see the flaws I see? Does he get as much out of this as I do? Tentativeness. How often can I call? I should wait for him to call. When should I make a first move? How do I keep him interested but also be honest about my feelings? Fear. I'm afraid he'll get bored or decide I'm not worthy of girlfriend status and will walk away.

I want to be Pete's girlfriend. I want to know that we only have each other in our romantic lives, that we're not both fishing, that he's as into me as I am into him. I want him to ask me to meet his family. I want to introduce him to my friends. I want to make breakfast for us and take him to the opera and fall asleep together on a blanket in the park.

Maybe I fall hard and fast... probably. While I'm guarded with my feelings around others, in private I'm willing the phone to ring and thinking about him all the time. And I want him to be thinking of me too.

I wanted to post about this to get some of my feelings out before I drive myself crazy. Besides, I think my friends are sick of hearing about him, at least for a little while! But here's what I ask: how do I ensure that we go on a 4th date, and 5th, and so on? How can I tell if he's into me or just testing the waters? Am I being too impatient? How many good dates does it take to make a guy want to be exclusive? And how the hell do I keep my fingers from dialing his number? ;-)

The thrill of the chase... it's driving me absolutely mad!

"Um, they're... bright."

2009-04-04T19:59:00.007-04:00

One pleasure of mine that my mother has never understood is brightly colored and/or patterned shoes. True, she was an adult from the '70s through the '90s, when shoes were practical, neutral, and matched most things in your closet, and you had about 3 pairs. Same goes for purses. Those were also decades of practical, matchy-matchy fashion in which no one mixed patterns, everyone's belt matched their shoes, and hardware always matched the jewelry.

Terrible, I know.

Perhaps it was the wild shoe-fetish fantasyland of "Sex & the City," or maybe it's the easier access to runway shows and designer fashion because of the internet... but either way, it's safe to say that many of the fashion rules of yesteryear no longer apply. And thank heavens, because a bright bag, punchy heels or big colorful statement necklace dress up an outfit with very little effort. As long as you don't combine all three!

So I am home in Westport this weekend to visit the family, and I came home from shopping with many items my mother loved, but when I pulled out my on-sale, apricot-yellow round-toe flats, and told her how fun and springy I thought they were, I got "Um, they're... bright. What on earth are you gonna wear that matches that??"

So even though I've tried to take dear Mummy on shopping trips and convinced her to just try a multicolored shoe, a polka-dot pump, or a bright red sandal, she's always going to go with her stand-by shoe colors of black, brown, tan and gray. But that doesn't mean there's no hope for the rest of us! Spring is a great time to tell everyone, "Screw this wind and rain business. Spring is here. I can prove it! I'm wearing yellow shoes!"

Here are some of my favorite yellow shoes on the interwebs, all at semi-affordable prices:

Sperry, $74.85

rsvp, $99

Ralph Lauren, $108.95

Pierre Dumas, $49

Mystique, $139

BCBG, $110

Anne Klein, $78.95

So me, so not me

2009-03-22T19:24:00.003-04:00

So me...

So not me...

So me...

So not me...
So me...

So not me...
So me...

So not me...

So me...

So not me...

What's been up

2009-03-22T19:11:00.002-04:00

Good evening all... I hope you're having a wonderful Sunday. After a couple of weeks of being basically MIA, I'm making a concerted effort to get back into my blogging groove. After all, everyone's busy and there is much time to be found, if you're creative in making it. In the past few weeks a lot of stuff has happened...

I helped host and organize a bridal shower for my friend B. Lots of money, lots of attempts at reservations, and lots of women goo-gooing over salad spinners and cake domes. But the bride was surprised, had a great time, and got loads of presents, so I guess I can be happy about that.

I have broken my dating desert of the past few months and gone out with 3 different guys in the last 2 weeks! One was fidgety and insecure, the other was really funny and cute but cheap. The third.... I'll call him P. He's witty, intellectual, educated, well-traveled, a definite food snob, a cute Italian boy, and a tiny bit elitist, like me. We completely clicked after the first date for drinks, and just last night we had a really romantic dinner that went even better. This could be the start of something!
PS: This also proves what Carrie said: All a girl needs to get a date is another date.

I have miraculously managed to hang on to my job. ::Fingers crossed::

I have discovered some fabulous TV. I am addicted to The Real Housewives of NYC (so much more personality than the Stepford wives of the OC), Tough Love (a VH1 show hosted by a matchmaker who points out the dating mistakes of a bunch of self-absorbed princesses) and as previously stated, House Hunters International. Perhaps this is where all my blogging time has gone!

Finally, I have fallen seriously ill of March Madness. My college is safely into the Sweet 16 playing a manageable team down in Miami in the next couple of days. Go College.

Cheers,
Hayley

Erin go bragh

2009-03-17T19:29:00.002-04:00

Happy Saint Patrick's Day all!

I know there has been a lack of witty, interesting or even visually enjoyable posts lately. My blame goes to an increased dedication to gym time and trying online dating. My evenings have been busier lately, so blogging time has been whittled down quite a bit. I have also been a bit uninspired lately, what with impatiently waiting for spring to come, but I do plan to sit down this weekend sometime, at the latest, to catch up with my dear blog and do more anticipatory spring fashion posts. And of course, to share my first-date stories with everyone. I already have a few!

So I hope all has been well, and I promise a full-fledged return soon!

- Hayley

Not mandatory, but highly, highly recommended.

2009-03-04T22:24:00.002-05:00

If you haven't begun watching "House Hunters International" by now, you must start. Who wouldn't want a peek into exotic but seductively affordable flats in glamorous cities in Europe? (Affordable compared to New York, anyway. A two-bedroom flat in the first district of Paris for $435,000? Sign me up.) But as I was saying... a beachside penthouse in Barcelona? Actually, you get to see three. There's no greater innocent voyeuristic pleasure than seeing unattainable real estate in cities you love. A girl can dream, right?

Eye Candy: Jack Johnson

2009-03-01T23:17:00.003-05:00

I refuse to believe that NYC is currently being blanketed with snow. The weathermen, the chill and the white surface that has settled on everything are just a figment of my imagination, because spring is on the way. And to combat the snow hitting many parts of the eastern States, I give you the MVP of laid-back, acoustic surf songs - Jack Johnson.

Then and Now: Abercrombie and Fitch

2009-02-17T19:55:00.002-05:00

Let me take you back to my high school days. For the record, I graduated in 2000. I was a "smart girl," who played flute, wrote for the yearbook and newspaper, was in drama club, played softball, volleyball and did swimming, was learning how to sail, and hated the taste of beer, but pretended not to at parties.

More than all of these things, I was proud of being a good girl. My parents instilled in me good manners and ladylike habits. My skirts were not tiny, my language was not foul, and I was lucky if I could sneak mascara past my mother in the morning. And I shopped at Abercrombie and Fitch. I loved the great quality of the wool, corduroy and cotton; I loved that I could find clothing there that met code; I loved the classic tailoring and conservative cuts; I loved that everything matched with everything; I loved the spanking-new style of sweatpants that weren't tapered and closed off with elastic; I loved the tee shirts that got more comfortable with each wash.

The clothes of Abercrombie were everywhere in my school in the '90s, but keep in mind that I grew up in Connecticut. This was normal for us, and I never figured that style would ever become mainstream. At times, I yearned to run out in denim cutoffs, a tube top and platform sandals, to be a bad girl just for one night, and maybe even look a little dangerous. But I never did it, because after some experimenting in the privacy of my room, I realized I never felt more comfortable or confident in anything besides my trusted A&F wardrobe. Rugby tops, ripstop pants, Oxfords and cotton skirts - how could it get any better?

I brought my huge A&F wardrobe away to college with me, and noticed that it was a popular uniform for many fellow students. We looked just like the students in the college brochures and Abercrombie quarterlies - walking to class with layered sweaters, crisp khakis, moccasins and shoulder bags full of books. I was proud of wearing clothes that lasted a long time, looked good, felt good, and made me look like the classy co-ed I wanted to be.

Around the fall of my sophomore year, Abercrombie and Fitch began going overboard on the distressing of all their clothes - jeans, skirts, tees, even polos. I wasn't a big fan, so I stopped buying new stuff and kept wearing what I owned. It was, and still is, timeless. But then, between sophomore and junior years (around spring/summer 2002), I noticed a huge change.

Abercrombie went skank.

When I visited my store in mid-2002, I attributed the miniscule skirts, tanks and dresses and skin-tight tees to the warm weather. I thought the bright colors would fade when the mercury dropped. But come September, I was annoyed - the skank look had taken over.

Every tee shirt - so tight you could see a bra through it. You could see the bra seams through it. And they were frayed, and splashed with double entendres and phallic imagery. Every sweater - dried and shrunken and spandex-ized within an inch of its life, revealing every bump and not even keeping you warm. You could see bras through those too! Every pair of shorts - 3" inseam. At most. Every fleece hoodie or sweatshirt - glittery logos and tight fit. Every pair of jeans - $90+ and looking like something from Baby Phat. And gone were my beloved peacoats, in were cropped, fur-lined puffy jackets that keep no one warm and are meant to show off the painted-on jeans with holes in the butt.

I was totally fed up. This change was echoed in the marketing too. The shirtless dude getting paid to hold a football and say "Hey" to the customers coming in? The floor-to-ceiling black-and-white photos of six-pack abs? The girls who look you up and down as you enter, waiting to determine if you're worthy of their customer service? The overwhelming amount of A&F cologne pumped into the air? It's just too much.

I tried finding images of old A&F clothing to share, and couldn't. I couldn't even find them on eBay. It goes to show you - the Abercrombie of my youth in the '90s, innocent Abercrombie, athletic Abercrombie, ivy Abercrombie... it's gone. But it had a great run, and you wouldn't belive it... but I still have my charcoal 3-button peacoat in my closet, good as new. I guess they don't make things like they used to.

Hayley

My new favorite accessory!

2009-02-17T19:37:00.005-05:00

Anyone who's been at school in the northeast, taking brisk walks across the quadrangle wearing wool sweaters and boat shoes, used an extensive makeup routine consisting of lip balm, mascara and natural freckles, and at times felt most comfortable in a polo and white skirt will appreciate the New England-inspired bracelet collection at Kiel James Patrick.

What a J.Crew rep stripe tie does as a belt, these bracelets do for your wrists. All KJP bracelets are made from vintage and recycled materials (old ties and blankets, for instance), and close with an oversize button. There are dozens and dozens of styles, and you have several button color choices with each order. They're made at the time of order in a few different sizes, to let you wear them loose or tight, and are unisex.

I just received my first Kiels, one a navy/yellow stripe with a lavender button, and the other a multicolor plaid madras with a bronze button. They're a bit hard to take off when the material is still, but they look great and are totally comfortable. I'm wearing one while typing right now! They also come wrapped in adorable plaid material and deliver fast.

The latest additions to Kiel James Patrick are sweatshirts and pocket tees, and I'm not sure if I'm going to try them, but I will definitely be ordering more bracelets. At $20 - $35, they're unique (at least for now), and the kind of accessory I'd like to change day to day. My only regret is that they're too informal for work. Unless I wore it in a throwback, ironic way with a tweed blazer and wool pants. But with spring on the way and our economy still in the tank, these accessories are fresh and inexpensive. And for something that makes you smile and costs $25, that's not bad.

Hayley

PS: Thanks to Nautical by Nature for linking the website!

Memo to visiting fans:

2009-02-15T23:43:00.002-05:00

Throwing bottles, cups and nachos at the opposing team's fans is not considered good sportsmanship. You and your mascot will remain anonymous here, but you know who you are. It is also considered unwise to cause such a ruckus in the opposing team's arena, with about 30,000 fans of the home team in attendance. Finally, suggesting intercourse to my mother and bragging about your school's lower acceptance percentage not only make you a sore loser, but a douchebag as well.

See ya in the Dance, bitches!

Kiss kiss,
Hayley

Seriously, the most heartwarming thing I've seen in a long time.

2009-02-11T21:45:00.003-05:00

Apparently there have been some big bush fires in Australia recently, and Preppy, Straight Up posted the first picture to pique my interest. Check this out...

Sam the koala had suffered burns on her paws and face, and she was rescued by this firefighter, who gave the poor thing three bottles of water. I can't believe how the koala wasn't afraid, and stayed right there with the firefighter. I am also completely misty-eyed at that picture. Not only the compassion and caring exhibited by the firefighter, but the soft, hopeful, face of the koala. Do I see a hint of a smile on her face?

See the story and video here: http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,25042176-5006785,00.html

ADD kind of day...

2009-02-11T21:02:00.003-05:00

I left my bedroom for something, and immediately forgot what that something was once I went through the doorway. I came back in, remembered, left, and forgot again. This happened three times in the last half hour.

I dashed into my neighborhood Starbucks this morning, ordered my skinny caramel macchiato, took my change, and left... without the coffee. I was too embarrassed to go back.

It's been the kind of day that makes me wonder if I'm missing something, I've forgotten something, or if I'm just plain stupid. And much coffee and brain-friendly foods later (almonds!) I don't feel any different. I guess we all have "one of dem days," so it's only fitting that I post some of the assorted thoughts that pop into my head. They may seem bizarre, but like I quote Empire Records: "Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear." (Lucas)

I loathe customers looking to purchase food, who wait for 5-10 minutes in a long-ass line, with plenty of time to look at the menu and have a good think, and then step up to the multitasking cashier and say "Uhhhh, oh jeez... I'll have a, uh, turkey on white - no wheat - no, rye...."
I love great shoes, but I always prefer an outlet or DSW type of place, in which all the shoes are out there in boxes or on racks, and you just grab 'em and try 'em. I'm like a meth addict with shoes, and quantity as well as velocity are of high importance when I'm buying shoes. I also know immediately if I like them or not. So waiting for an overextended sales girl to pull my sizes from the back, and then feeling guilty sending her back to get more, is just not my thing.
I am incapable of going into Bath & Body Works or The Body Shop without buying something. I always intend to go in for the aromatherapeutic benefits, find a scent I adore, and then buy at least one moisturizer, rationalizing that lotion never goes to waste around me. True enough. Until I have 12 (yes TWELVE) tubes/pots/bottles of lotion in my bathroom, and am out of space to store them.
Ubiquitous books I've never read: Harry Potter, Twilight, The Cat in the Hat.
Famous movies I've never seen: Harry Potter, The Godfather, Friday the 13th, Pretty in Pink.
Why is it that the effort put into dressing by most New Yorkers is confined to the city? Why can't this polished look work in the suburbs, too? There's plenty of heinous fashion in the city, but there are also a lot of sharp-dressed men and women. Yet when you venture into the surrounding suburbs, including Fairfield County, it's all about the fleece, saggy jeans and Crocs.
I haven't seen a bag at Coach or a necklace at Tiffany that I've liked in about three years.
I have a very specific order in which I wash my dishes. Dinner plates, small plates, bowls, mugs, glasses, large objects, cutting boards, and flatware last. Always.
I still buy CDs. They go onto my computer and iPod afterwards, but I believe in supporting the musicians I love, and I get some sort of gratification out of seeing the cases stacked neatly next to the stereo. Which is a big ol' Sony, not an iHome. What can I say? I loved the '90s!
I often wish I was still in college.
I set four alarms every night. My cell phone rings at 6:35, 6:45, and 6:50, on which I keep hitting the snooze. And finally, my "real" alarm clock rings at the actual moment I really need to get up, at 7:00. Somehow I appreciate my pillows and blankets more in those groggy first 25 minutes.
From my desk, without getting up, I can see 5 Vera Bradley items, all in different patterns. You can take the girl out of Connecticut...

Hayley

What a Tease!

2009-02-08T21:06:00.002-05:00

Today was positively gorgeous. 64, sunny and breezy (OK, windy)? Spending today in the city would have been wonderful, but I scammed a ride out to Long Beach, on Long Island, to walk on the boardwalk and enjoy the weather. What a great day! It's not the most gorgeous boardwalk I have ever seen, but the sandy beach is an awesome change from Connecticut. There is NO sand in the Long Island Sound - just rocks and mud! And the waves out there were so much bigger. Here are some pictures of the ocean!

L'amore - Mediterranean White

2009-02-06T23:54:00.003-05:00

Just when I decided three totes, 2 makeup cases, 1 jewelry case and 1 small duffel were more than enough, I discovered a semi-new, clean, summery pattern: Mediterranean White. Vera Bradley introduced Mediterranean White into their classic cotton collection in September of last year, which I deem an unintelligent move by their marketing team. How can a white-based palette of blue, gray and green sell during the autumn and winter?

But Mediterranean White is gorgeous, folks. The swirls and curvy geometric lines and shapes do look somewhat Mediterranean, especially with the majority of color being white and blue. I love the idea of taking this pattern on a trip to Italy or Greece. Just as long as I can keep it clean!

Villager, $72

Small Tic Tac Tote, $55

Small Duffel, $69

UPLIFTER

2009-02-06T23:06:00.003-05:00

One of my favorite bands since "Down" dropped in 1995 is 311. I've always loved their signature sound, part hip-hop, part rock, part reggae, all positive vibes. And they're releasing a new album this spring! Uplifter is due out in March as of right now - they've finished recording and have begun to master the tracks. And regardless of whether you like their music, their eye candy of a frontman Nick Hexum is at once talented, compassionate and sexy. Who knew they were growing this in Omaha?

"There was no other option than success. Every day I thank my lucky stars."

Lemon Favorites

2009-02-06T22:25:00.006-05:00

I am home at the moment. Yes, at 10:30 on a Friday night. You would be too, if you were one of the many people in New York incubating the black plague (aka my first cold of the year). As I sliced a wedge of lemon for my fourth mug of tea, the sweet, tart scent managed to get through my impenetrable sinuses. Maybe it's been a while since I've smelled a fresh lemon? But regardless, the scent struck me as so fresh, clean, beautiful and bright.

I prefer lemons to citrus medleys, because the pure scent of one fruit seems less, well, fruity, than spritzing on a scent that smells like Sprite or Tropicana candies. I went through a pink grapefruit phase in college, wearing Gap's Pink body spray every day for about 18 months. But I tired of it, and the grapefruit seemed to become ubiquitous. But lemon is sharp, distinct, clean and sweet. I love the sharpness of lemon, and I hate when people try to change it. I scrape the meringue off the pie, I steer clear of lemon yogurt (too vanilla) and stick with hard candies, lemon drop shots and Italian ices. Adding sage, "cream" (whatever that is), lavender or anything else just waters down the dominant lemon.

I have always believed (well, since I worked at Bath & Body Works during college) that scents can change your mood. That's the philosophy behind the whole perfume industry. But it doesn't have to just be a scent you wear. I've found that when my Irish nose inhales pure lemon scents, I feel cheerier, happier and more energized. What more could you ask for during a gray, cold, lethargic winter?

Here are some of my pure lemon favorites!

Henri Bendel Lemon Verbena Candle, $26 at Bath & Body Works

Philosophy Powdered Sugar Cookie Body Souffle, on eBay
(Don't let the name fool you - this scent is 90% lemon and 10% sugar cookie - one of my all-time favorites, and the body souffle is an amazing light moisturizer - like a gel!)

Davies Gate Lemon Made Travel Set, $30 at Bath & Body Works
(Includes Body Wash, Body Scrub, Hand Salve, Hand Lotion and Lip Balm)

Philosophy Powdered Sugar Cookie Lip Shine, on eBay
(The perfect clear, subtly sparkly lip gloss, great scent and works on everyone!)

Bath & Body Works Kitchen Lemon Antibacterial Hand Soap, $4.50 or 3 for $10
(Pure lemon goodness, and guys don't mind using it either!)

Philosophy You Are My Sunshine Two-Piece set, Shower Gelee and Lip Shine, $30

Philosophy Lemonade Salt Scrub, $25

C. O. Bigelow Lemon Body Lotion, $24 at Bath & Body Works

Lemon Reed Diffuser, $19.95 at girlsjustwanttoshop.com

Italian ceramic plate, 4.5" diameter, $16 at ceramicadirect.com
(Doesn't smell like lemon, obviously... but how pretty for the wall!)

C. O. Bigelow Lemon Hand Wash, $12 at Bath & Body Works

Philosophy Lemonade Lip Shine, $12

Lemons, cheap at your local grocer, the ideal garnish, necessary for sangria, beautiful in a bowl or sliced on a saucer. Cut, inhale and enjoy.

Style Inspiration: Kate Middleton

2009-02-03T21:51:00.003-05:00

Kate Middleton's story was much more interesting in 2006, during her fairy-tale courtship with dreamy Prince William. But regardless of their wishy-washy relationship or Kate's relatively normal upbringing, the girl can dress. The perfect combination of preppy and trendy is one for which I strive every day, and this girl gets it. And she boats. I think we may have to hit the pub together.

Eye Candy: Brandon Boyd

2009-01-28T21:18:00.002-05:00

Brandon Boyd is the frontman for Incubus, a surf-inspired rock band from California, which manages to not be cliche. Brandon is the singer, with a face reminiscent of Jim Morrison, and long, lean body, which is frequently bare-chested during performances. If you have a thing for muscular, messy-haired sensitive types that surf and sing, then, you're welcome.

Summer Top Ten

2009-01-27T20:44:00.010-05:00

OK, two posts on warm weather within a week of each other, and a snowstorm predicted for tonight. Can you tell I'm sick of winter?

I relish living in the northeast because of the seasons. I love the autumn leaves, the winter wonderland snow, the spring thaw, and best of all, the mid-May warm-up. There's no comparison to that first day on which the air is clear, the sun is warm, there's a light breeze, no humidity, and you head outside to your car, realizing on the way that you don't need it. You toss it in the back seat, and drive to work with the windows open, feeling a natural breeze on your arms for the first time since October.

The iced coffees become appealing again, we start to eat lighter, and life gets a little lighter. And of course, our clothes change. But the change isn't only in weight and coverage; everyone's style gets a little more laid-back in the warmer months. Somehow structure and trendiess feel right in fall and winter. But in the spring and summer, the materials are lighter, the cuts are more relaxed, and I personally move away from the trends for a bit and go for the classics.

The classic clothing I wear in spring and summer hasn't changed much from what I wore growing up, since I always go for my favorite staples that feel light, keep me cool and have staying power for several seasons. Keeping up with trends is an activity I use in the winter to keep me interested in getting dressed beyond avoiding hypothermia, and it goes well with the edginess of the seasons. But once late April hits, I'm all about the basics.

In recently moving and taking stock of my wardrobe, I realized I'll need to replace a few of these. So I'm making a list of my ten favorite options for spring and summer, and I'll keep an eye out for spring preview sales and coupons as opportunities to buy them. Buying out of season usually gets you a great deal, and making lists keeps you from making too many impulse purchases.

1) 3/4-sleeve Oxford shirts. Definitely white, probably a pink and a blue also, definitely the Horse. Soft cotton, comfortable structure and a classic look.

Ralph Lauren Solid Cotton Oxford, $89

2) Fresh polos. Short-sleeved, two-button, collars down. Navy, light pink, hot pink, sky blue, yellow, kelly green, red, black, white, orange - check. Looking for: light green, royal blue, maroon. Definitely some of the Horse, maybe a Lilly thrown in. Absolutely no A&F.

Lilly Pulitzer Rugby Stripe Polo, $68

3) Linen pants. Got white, would like beige. Traditional Easter - Labor Day rules apply.

Robert Rodriguez linen pants, $119.99

4) White linen/cotton/eyelet skirts. Never work appropriate, but a great jeans substitute for a night out. Pair with a polo or deep-V tee and flops for a casual look.

Alvin Valley Cotton Miniskirt, $99.99

5) Solid sundresses. Florals are fine, and I've got black linen. This summer I'm looking into everything linen, solid navy, green and pink.

White House | Black Market Drapeneck Cotton Dress, $148

6) Long-sleeve tissue tees. The best coverup on the boat - sun coverage without warmth.

J.Crew Perfect Fit Tissue Tee, $24.50

7) Tailored chino shorts. Modest hem (7" - 3" at the least), neutral colors. To wear with Oxfords, polos, tanks...

J. Crew Twill 5" shorts, $39.50

8) Denim jacket. To wear on weekends when the sun goes down.

American Eagle Vintage Denim Jacket, $49.99

9) Twill skirts. Dress up for work, down for play.

Vineyard Vines Twill Skirt, $68

10) New aviators. The $8 ones from Chinatown last maaaaybe one summer!

Kirra White Aviators, $15.50

Cheers to summer - only five months away!
Hayley

Got a little hippie in ya?

2009-01-27T19:28:00.002-05:00

Well, all of us girls should when it comes to one thing: Don't wash your hair everyday.

Does this picture below feature a woman whose hair you envy?

This, my friends, is what a couple of decades of daily washing does to your hair, especially when combined with blow-drying, curling, dyeing, CHI-ing and relaxing.

I always believed that even in this madcap world of wonder-creams and lunchtime Botox, there are two signs of age from which hardly any woman can really escape: zombie hands, and dry hair that is beyond rescue.

Your skin can be preserved very well with some simple moisturizing once a day, and wearing SPF every day, at least on your face. But our hair is so much more visible, more accountable for our overall look. We change our coifs depending on our moods, outfits, and agendas for the day. So our hair is subject to much more damage, and unlike the skin of our shoulders, our hair is fully visible to everyone, every day.

So what to do? Certainly we don't want to rock unintentional dreds, or do the Bronx-tastic slicked-back ponytail, which doesn't fool anyone.

Well, there are a few things we can do to hide a little extra oil, which are worth it for their shine-saving effect in the long run. I for one have a routine that is working pretty well. First, I shower at night after the gym. After the shower I moisturize, and brush out my hair. I let it air-dry overnight, and then straighten it with my CHI in the morning. Not only does it save time on my morning routine, but I only do one heat-damaging procedure a day instead of two. On the second day, I clean up by straightening again, and wash my hair again that night.

Here are some suggestions for making nondaily shampoos a success:
- If you absolutely MUST wash it, use only a little shampoo on the roots.
- Don't use too much product, especially on the roots and crown.
- If your hair looks a little darker at the end of the day, spritz some body spray on the roots and brush it out. The alcohol has a drying effect on the oil, and the body spray gives you a halo of soft fragrance.
- If your hair is fairly light, you can sprinkle and brush out some baby powder on your roots to hide oil. On dark hair (like mine) this can look a little ashy, so go easy on it.
- Or put some astringent on a cotton ball and rub it on your roots near your face. This cleans up oil too.

And some styling tips:
- The good ol' wide headband is a great distraction from and hider of oil roots.
- Try beachy waves: dampen your hair, brush it, then apply a tiny bit of texturizing cream, or spray a curl-enhancing spray.
- You can do an updo also, and one with waves and curls looks romantic and distracts from roots. Just avoid wispies in the front - those will be touched by your hands and face so much that they'll only showcase dirty roots.
- Pin back a small section of hair from the front and secure with bobby pins.
- Throw on a statement necklace or chandelier earrings. They'll (at least temporarily) distract viewers from a multitude of sins, like oily roots, untweezed eyebrows and acne.

One note on waterless shampoos: I've read many reviews for dry shampoos and the like, which promise to lift oil from hair without washing, just by spraying and brushing out. I've read mixed reviews which include awesome results, along with a nasty smell, clogged nozzles and high prices. The one that seemed best was Bumble & Bumble's Dry Shampoo, which comes in different colors for blondes, brunettes and redheads. But I personally haven't tried this, so I wouldn't recommend it.

Honestly girls, try some of these ideas. You'll save money and time, and the shine and bounce that comes from healthy, hydrated hair. Let me know how it works out!

Revolutionary Road

2009-01-24T23:24:00.002-05:00

Caution: Spoilers ahead...

If you don't care about spoilers since you don't plan on seeing this film, please stop reading right now, go to fandango.com and get tickets for the next showing. In fact, the theater closest to me has one starting in ten. And it has some fabulous retro fashion. Go.

Revolutionary Road is a movie that intrigued me at first because of its two phenomenal stars, two of my favorite thespians and some of the best actors of our generation, Kate and Leo. It is based on the novel by Richard Yates, in which Frank and April Wheeler fall into a classic New York cliche: they are young single city kids who meet at a party in a friend's crowded pre-war apartment. They fall in love, get married, and promptly move to the Connecticut suburbs after their first baby is born. Frank continues work at a faceless, generic office building in Manhattan and screws a secretary after lunch martinis, and April stays home planting flowers, chain smoking and taking care of the kids and house.

Frank and April fall out of love, probably for a combination of reasons: a lack of lifelong compatibility, Frank's lack of drive to pursue any sort of passion, April's striking boredom with her suburban cell, and the presence of two children it seems neither of them wanted in the first place. "We had a second child to prove the first one wasn't an accident. Do you really want another child, Frank?"

April comes up with an exodus plan as a last-ditch effort to create some action and extraordinary change for the family: move to Paris, where April will work as a secretary and Frank will finally have the time to figure out not only what he wants, but who he is. All the neighbors and coworkers are stunned by this plan, except Kathy Bates' psych ward-bound son, John. As a tried-and-true literary and cinematic device, John seems to be the only person on Revolutionary Road speaking actual truth.

After two quick rolls in the hay (or should we say... roll in the Buick and bump on the linoleum countertop - the first with her neighbor and the second with Frank), April finds out she is pregnant, and at her suggestion of an abortion, Frank says "any sane woman would never think of such a thing." The Paris plan has fallen through, though Crazy John is quick to ask, "What? They don't have babies in Europe?"

There are points of such vile insults and heartless accusations between Frank and April that I was amazed neither one killed the other. It's a disturbing and shocking display of what happened to a couple that used to be charmingly in love. I was stunned by April's indifference to Frank's affair, and Frank's casual manner with which he told her he "had a girl a couple times." Is it possible for two people in love to grow that far apart, so violently and in what was likely less than 10 years? What circumstances could cause two people to sleep with others for revenge, go running into the woods out of a desperate desire for escaping their own house, to tell each other "fuck who you like"?

The story ends tragically... I don't want to totally give it away, but April's attempt at escape from normalcy was her demise. The film's last scene shows Frank watching the children on swings in a city park. It appears he can't watch them without thinking of April, and no doubt does he have remorse for how their love story spiraled into a mean-spirited power play and how her .

What did I get out of Revolutionary Road? Like Sam Mendes' other great film, American Beauty, which also chronicled white-bread suburbia, Revolutionary Road makes me cringe at the idea of marriage while also making me vow to never waste another day making decisions because they are comfortable. Most of all, it makes me wonder why we create conventions for ourselves to follow, whether we want to or not?

If Frank and April wanted to raise children in the city... why not? They wanted to move to Paris... why not? Lester Burnham sold his Camry for a vintage Firebird... why not? Why is it seemingly unacceptable to stray from a certain formula with life? Why do we feel obliged to sign a piece of paper that legally binds us to another person for life, then propagate the species in a split ranch, a comfortable distance from the noise and dirt of the big city? Why do we fear discomfort in taking on a different lifestyle?

Don't get me wrong - my parents are pretty happily married, and my youth in suburban Connecticut was enjoyable. I turned out pretty normal. And I value my family so completely that I have a hard time imagining that I won't have one of my own someday. And I admire happily married couples so much, for their passion and hard work. But why does everyone have to try to change themselves to try to fit into that plan? Like Carrie Bradshaw asked once: "Do we really want marriage and houses and babies? Or, are we just programmed?"

Even if you think my musings are pure drivel, I implore you to see Revolutionary Road. The acting is impeccable. Kate and Leo achieve character development that is so deep and complex, I want to see the film again to try to figure them out more. The Wheelers' neighbor Millie is so unfailingly conventional and upbeat that you know she has to be on antidepressants; the realtor's whackjob son steals each scene he appears in, and even Frank's other woman and equally empty cube-mates contribute to the feeling of entrapment and boredom. I also want to buy the book so I can delve further into the story.

What's the point? I'm not sure there's only one. Surely we're supposed to do what makes us happy, regardless of social opinion. Surely we shouldn't bring children into a turbulent household which is brimming with resentment. Surely we shouldn't be afraid to take chances and think outside the cubicle. But the question remains: Are we brave enough to do that?

Looking forward to spring

2009-01-23T21:24:00.005-05:00

This is the time of year in which many of us fall into a rut. Resolution determination has worn off, we're being inundated with Valentine's Day merch just a bit too early, after a six-week-long Christmas season. And while paying off the bills for said season, we're often practicing self-restraint whether we like it or not. And I don't like.

But one of my favorite things to do to avoid seasonal affective disorder, winter pastiness and midwinter paunch is admire spring clothes. No need to buy just yet, especially as most of the pieces are overpriced right now. But with recession sales rocking, you could score a good deal. And even if you froze your credit cards in a block of ice, just looking at clothes that are lighter and brighter will do the same for your mood.

Here are some pieces I love for spring. Some I intend to buy, some will have to wait for a sale, but all of them help me lighten up and look ahead to sunnier days and outdoor happy hours. Make a wishlist of your own, and allow a little late-April-walk-in-Central-Park fantasy, featuring the guy with the nice arms you saw in the Greek sculpture garden in the Met. Feel your mood instantly lift!

JCrew camp shirt, $59.50

JCrew straight skirt, $49.50

Gap hip-slung pants, $54

Gap cropped trench, $78

L.L. Bean chino blazer, $74

L.L. Bean anchor wellies, $59

Gap belted cotton dress, $59.50

Gap striped skirt, $59

Style Inspiration: First Lady Michelle Obama

2009-01-23T20:35:00.004-05:00

You knew this was coming.

Regardless of any woman's political opinions, you'd be hard-pressed to argue with Mrs. Obama's classic, elegant style. She always looks appropriate and pulled-together, but never like she's trying too hard, which I love. She uses color and pattern wonderfully, and has great posture for her statuesque figure. And after eight years of a senior citizen First Lady with daughters dressed to ride the mechanical bull at Crazy Jeb's Chicken Coop, we could all use a well-dressed First Family in the White House. And all this from a French-speaking Princeton grad and Harvard JD recipient. But wait... a Jacqueline-like coif, giant pearls and glowing skin too??? Go America!

Beauty Inspiration: Rose Byrne

2009-01-21T22:17:00.003-05:00

After a quick trip to imdb.com, I learned that Rose Byrne plays one of my favorite characters, le Duchesse de Polignac, in one of my favorite movies, Marie Antoinette. I completely envy this woman of her cheekbones, bedroom eyes, lustrous brown locks and knockout figure. Her contagious laughter, lilting Aussie accent and amazing bone structure make her more than beautiful, but as the Queen says, "She's fun. She makes me laugh."

Style Schizophrenia

2009-01-17T17:21:00.003-05:00

Think about the style icons you admire. For me, they are Carla Bruni and Rachel Bilson. Most women that we girl-crush on for their taste and look have a personal style. They know what they like, what looks good and what they feel good in, and they stick with it. Ideally, we would all use those guiding principals when we're out shopping, and when we're standing in a bra in front of our closet trying to put an outfit together.

But have you ever felt like you were digging a few different looks, and couldn't figure out what you liked best, or what was the best combination for you?

You'll find stylists on HGTV and TLC giving people style monikers that are double-word labels, meant to encompass everything in their wardrobe. For example, "urban chic," "modern bohemian," and other annoying phrases. I've tried to articulate what my personal style is, but I always feel caught between at least three different looks. I guess having a varied personal style isn't a tragedy, far from it, but how do you curtail overbuying and keep a dignified look when you want to dress in four different directions every day?

Here are the looks I love, and wear on different occasions, but don't know how to meld into one cohesive closet:

The Lady Proper

shift dresses

peep-toe heels

pearls

tailored pants

pencil skirts

Preppy Classics

cable-knit sweaters

Oxford shirts

boat shoes

monogrammed polos

printed totes

21st Century Hippie

distressed flare jeans

loose blouses

love beads

long cardigans

leather sandals

I suppose Carla and Rachel mix all of these at times... They seem to make it work.

But no matter what I like, I definitely know what looks I don't like:
bohemian (ethnic patterns, feathers, fringe)

edgy (Agyness Deyn, I'm lookg at you)

80s the sequel (leggings, Converse and oversize tops)

suburban splendor (Juicy, Coach and Uggs, just die)

rocker chick (peep-toe booties, Ed Hardy tee, cropped bomber)

Brooklyn hipster (bright colored jeans, Wayfarers, a PBR)

What are your style personalities?