Everyone's favorite part of the Oscar Awards: the red carpet catwalk. All the beauty and opportunities for scrutiny and judgment without the stale written commentary given to presenters. Yes, we have to cope with average-looking interviewers who always end up looking awkward on camera (especially when confronted with Gary Busey). But with fewer commercials, more stars per minute and the possibility that a catastrophic outfit is just around the corner, the red carpet fashion show before the actual ceremony wins my trophy. And that is the precise reason why I'm blogging now, during the Best Animated Feature nominees.
Here's some of my commentary on the 80th Academy Awards Red Carpet Preview. My apologies in advance, as my words may not be as delightfully sassy or snarky as those heard on E!'s Fashion Police. That's why I'm at amateur.
Mary Hart. I'm not sure who she is, but I do love this gown. The cutting of the material is lovely, the neckline suits her, and I love the color. I would have chosen for a less-matchy clutch, and gone for silky-straight hair to curb the sweetness of the gown.
I don't know who Nancy O'Dell is either. And I will acknowledge her good tan, good highlights, and slammin' body. However, this material of this gray embellished gown is so thin and without luster that it looks like it was plucked from a Charlotte Russe clearance rack. Sorry, blondie.
Rosamund Pike, IMHO, looks sweet yet chic in this architectural one-shouldered pale yellow gown. The limo ride made some unfortunate wrinkles in the front, but she kept the accessories minimal (almost non-existent) and is giving really good shoulder.
Saoirse Ronan is a lovely Irish rose, with beautiful skin in this green Grecian-inspired gown. However, it's a wee bit too short, the hem embellishment is overdone, and I would have made more of a statement with the shoes. Lastly, the hair is too severe for her angles. Loose waves would have softened the look well.
Miley Cyrus... you are irritating, too rich for your own good and despite rumored "work" done, your smile still looks sour. But from the neck down, this red dress is lovely, age-appropriate (for once), and fits wonderfully. Applause for the Valentino.
Score: 8.5 (would have been higher on America Ferrera)
I'm not sure who Seth Rogen's date is, but she needs to learn the fashion rule for voluptuous ladies like herself: structure rules. This lace thing is too long, too open in the neck, and it just falls down her body, pooling at the floor. Not good.
Amy Adams plays a princess adorably, and this dark green mermaid-style dress offsets her red hair beautifully. The neckline is interesting and looks great with the gold accessories. Well-played.
One of my favorite gowns of the evening, Anne Hathaway oozes sophistication, as always, in a one-shoulder, textured red stunner with a train long enough for drama, short enough for modesty. Bonus for peaches-and-cream complexion.
Beautifully toned arms and mama-to-be glow aside, Jessica Alba is just not working it here. The embellishment on the chest makes her look larger than she is, and the layers of fabric fall down her frame with no direction or purpose. Could have done better.
Jennifer Hudson is a gorgeous girl with a showstopping voice, but her stylist made an error here. Her skin looks great in the white, and the snakeskin trim is edgy. But the neckline makes her girls look quite wide, and frankly, horizontal. In a wide V-neck, would have been great.
Tilda Swanson is another doll from Ireland with gorgeous red hair and great bone structure. However, dear, at a Black-Tie event in Hollywood, with hours prefacing the ceremony dedicated to fashion, one must wear makeup. Not a lot. Not anything unnatural. But an overcast day and hundreds of light bulbs wash us out, and you are doing yourself a disservice here. Shapeless dress notwithstanding.
The mermaid silhouette has been big, and Adrienne Frantz embraced it in a great color. However, the beads and sparkle overwhelm the drama in the skirt, and push this dress just over the edge.
Diablo Cody is a screenwriter, and apparently a very feisty lady. I wouldn't wear this dress, but with the bold haircut and confidence radiating from her every pore, she is definitely working this look.
Lisa Rina looks great for her age, and I do like the silhouette of this navy gown. The black belt and split bodice ruin it for me, though; girls ride a little low, and you should know to never mix navy and black.
Marion Cotillard looks semi-aquatic here... but I love it. The graduated scallop detail, and strategically placed ruffles enhance her very feminine physique. And in white, the "fish thing" isn't overdone. Lovely.
Heidi Klum, in my favorite gown so far. Gorgeous drama in the train, perfect for a supermodel at the most important awards show of the year. Lovely texture and structure around the neck, gorgeous color, and her hair (hard to see here; picture coming) was sleek and elegant. Absolutely wonderful.