A New York Girl: Outrageous Party Dresses I Would Wear to a Wedding If I Didn't Have to Think Of the Bride!

Ah, weddings.

They are a double-edged sword. In the right company, they are amazing. Expensive, day-long festivities with food and alcohol in abundance, celebrating the union of two people you love and who have a fabulous connection. You dance, you toast, you do the Hip Hop Slide after too many martinis, and you might even meet a cute groomsman to make out with in the coat check.

But then there are the bad weddings, usually of near-stranger coworkers or family members who employ a lackluster guest list. The most interesting part of this day is being a Catty Cathy with a friend, critiquing the bride's choices of wedding design and bemoaning the lack of attractive, young people. Or worse, the couple cheaped out and you're paying for your own cocktails.

But if you were born under a good sign, you will attend more grand weddings in your life than terrible ones, and in both cases, you need to be appropriately dressed. Wedding attire nowadays runs the gamut. Have you seen any episodes of Bridezillas? Some of the gowns I see on that show are abominations to the institution of marriage, and don't get me started on the bridal party.

But those of us with a social conscience, especially when attending the wedding of a loved family member or friend, want to be dressed properly. Since Emily Post's First Edition, there have been a few small changes in acceptable wedding attire. However, the general rules of wedding attire for female guests goes like this:
- nothing black - it means disapproval of the union
- no white - for obvious reasons
- nothing too short, too low-cut, too bright, too red, too sexy
- nothing that will take attention away from the beautiful, blushing bride.

Well.

Seeing as we're attending what is basically a glorified party with church and pricier gifts, I still get the tiniest bit miffed when picking a dress to wear for a wedding, and forcing myself to buy the more demure, sophisticated frocks when what I really want to do is don a short, low-cut, fashion-forward, sex-on-a-stick party dress, meet a gorgeous stranger and dance with him in a champagne-hazed buzz all evening.

But of course... that wouldn't be appropriate.

Any of it.

And so, tonight I am presenting a collection of fun, stylish party dresses that I would definitely wear to a wedding... if not for the risk of pissing off the bride, or worse, her mother. And just for fun, I'm pretending I have 2% body fat and no budget. These dresses may be considered acceptable by some for a wedding, but let's face it: if you were lucky enough to not be a bridesmaid, the least you can do is let the bride take all the thunder on her Big Day.

So here you are ladies, a fantastic voyage of dresses that may make it to a fancy New Years or gala at the Met, but unfortunately, won't be (and shouldn't be) making it to your cousin's wedding this fall.