Book Review: Become Your Own Matchmaker, by Patti Stanger

In a recent amazon.com order that just arrived today, I received a few books. Among them was the frank, funny and optimistic book on love by Patti Stanger, of The Millionaire Matchmaker. I started watching this show on a lazy Sunday afternoon, approaching it with the cynical mindset that it would be a show about gold diggers and the men who love them. I was pleasantly surprised to see how Patti, owner of the matchmaking company, prepared and coached men into making good mates, and how she selected and groomed the female members before admitting them.

Let's get the truth out of the way about Patti. If you've seen even one episode, you know Patti Stanger could be described as blunt, opinionated, vulgar, tough, outspoken, conservative (in dating), loudmouthed, bossy, demanding, high-maintenance, harsh and insensitive. However, I am hooked on The Millionaire Matchmaker because the woman is smart, has great instincts, and can see right through everyone she meets. I eat up delicious nuggets of wisdom in each episode I see.

The tough-love, super-honest approach of TMM is what prompted me to order this book. The full title is Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate. It is exactly as it sounds: a guide to the phases of dating that progress from first-meeting to marriage. I wanted to give it a shot because, while I'm having good luck with dates these days, I want to keep my options open. Plus, I wanted to see if I passed Patti's tests for date-ability. Basically, I want to make sure I'm not sabotaging myself. And who doesn't?

The great news: I, apparently, make a great dater, am a fantastic listener, don't call too often, and abide by all of Miz Stanger's Dating Commandments. The other great news for you: every single girl can learn something from this book. It's about 275 pages and I read it in a single evening. I caught myself saying "Yeah, I've met that guy" and "Yeah, I definitely blew it on that one" to a few stories in the book. I also learned my favorite new Yiddish word: bashert (meant to be).

Rather than give you a play-by-play that you can get from amazon.com, here are some of my favorite passages from the book. These are actually highlighted in bright pink! Incidentally, these tidbits sum up the primary ideals in the book very well.

• One good orgasm spoils the bunch.
• Get off the phone after fifteen minutes, or you'll have nothing else to talk about when you see each other.
• Honey, to men, one hole is like any other hole. If you hold out long enough for them to get to know you, that's when they'll fall in love.
• The penis does the picking.
• All East-Coast girls know that no matter how much you like a guy, you never accept a last-minute date.
• A man will only be drawn to her once she realizes that she can be happy without him.
• I forgive all the men who came before; I start with me.
• In the beginning, what's really important is that when he kisses you, your toes curl.
• How much better do you feel after taking a hike and eating a crunchy salad than after watching two hours of TV and helping yourself to a steaming pile of chili cheese fries? You want to feel sleek and sexy, not bloated and lethargic.
• If your waist measurement is 70% of your hip measurement, men will think you're hotter.
• You must ALWAYS wait for him to contact you. (internet dating)
• Coffee is cheap, drinks are an audition, lunch is an interview, but dinner means business - the business of romance.
• Those who travel in packs do not attract.
• A good woman will signal a man, then let him come to her.
• YOU CAN'T CHANGE A MAN.
• If you find a guy who calls when he says he will and takes you out on a regular basis, I don't care if he's a three-eyed dwarf, nab him!
• Women fall in love on the date. Men fall in love after the date.

For a fun but informative and blunt exploration of the mind of the average man, definitely pick this book up. Like her or not, Patti makes some good points and makes every woman feel fabulous, deserving of love and pampering, and confident that there is someone out there who will make her toes curl.

Hayley