May 11, 2009


I called him Friday. No call back. I called him last night (while he was on No call back yet. So, I deleted Fuckface (my friend Brian's affectionate term for Pete) from my phone. I knew if I kept his hard-to-memorize number in my phone that I'd always be tempted to reach out to a guy who hasn't made an effort to contact me in a week, not even to tell me it's not working out and he's not interested. So I took Patti Stanger's advice, and made a vacuum for the universe to fill.

Let me splain. I'm not a big metaphysical believer, and I was very skeptical when I read parts of The Secret. But Patti makes a great point in her book when she talks about getting rejected by a guy: cut off all ties, focus on the positive future, and make room in your life for a new guy to come in. Like Suze Orman encourages people to clean out their wallets so new money can come in, Patti advocates getting rid of gifts from exes, and purging memories and contact information to make room for new ones.

For the record, 2 minutes after I did this, my Blackberry buzzed with a wink from a new guy. After looking at his profile I'm not totally interested, but I thought the timing was notable.

Whether the small action of deleting Pete from my phone brings another better man close to me remains to be seen. However, now I can avoid the sting of rejection when I'm scrolling through my contacts and come across his name. Plus, the ball is permanently in his court, so if he wanted to contact me, he can. But I won't be able to call him, no matter how much I want to (and I do). And eventually, I swear I will get past the stalking-his-match-profile stage.

Odds are, he met someone else that he's more interested in and is focusing on her. Or perhaps he decided he's not into a serious relationship at the moment, and is logging onto for fun or out of boredom. Either way, I'm sure Steve Ward and Patti would say he wasn't the guy for me, and there's no point wasting time or emotion on him. That's easier said than done, and I doubt I'll ever get the closure I want out of this. But dating is after all a numbers game, and I try on tons of shoes before finding a pair I adore, so dating wouldn't be much different, I suppose.

Maybe this seems melodramatic for a guy with whom I had 5 dates in 2 months... but when I feel a click, I know it, and I guess I fall hard and fast. But I'm not the first girl to get rejected, or to have a guy disappear on her out of the blue. I'm sure it'll happen again. But for now, I'm planning travel, communicating with other guys and exercising my butt off.

Thanks to everyone who read and commented on my hormone roller coaster! I'm sure there will be plenty more stories for you, and maybe one of them will be one about finding true love.


1 comment:

Brittany said...

Hi Hayley,
I've enjoyed reading your candid posts about Pete, and this seems like the right step to me...something will happen in time to realize why this was a great decision! Be well. :)